Costco Mooks

I went to Costco today to pick up the usual load of groceries, and had to deal with the usual load of mooks. It's my own fault for not getting up earlier. Flint and I would always show up at 10 when they opened in order to be in and out before the place was overrun.
There was plenty of parking spaces at that time, too. There was also plenty of parking spaces when we left, but damned if the mooks weren't parked anywhere and everywhere. Especially in the travel lanes, making them as narrow as they possibly could. What did they care, the fucking mooks?
I remember one time we went there in the middle of the day. I was surprised we got out of there with as little pain as we did. And we didn't have to kill hardly anyone!
Today there were a couple of Koreans ahead of me in the checkout line. The girl was a typically useless Korean female, who had a purse hanging from one arm, rendering it useless for moving the groceries from the cart to the conveyer belt. She would try and grab something and move it, but all she could do was sort of push or pull at it vaguely until the guy picked it up for her. I suppose she could've put the bag down and used two arms, but... I don't know, it didn't seem to occur to her.
Then there was the guy and his wife that I kept meeting coming the other way. You know when you're going up and down the aisles and you constantly meet someone going in the opposite direction? It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't constantly park their cart in front of the exact thing I wanted every single damn time!
These mooks topped off my experience just as I was leaving. I was coming back to my car after dropping off my cart, and there they were, in between my car and theirs, loading stuff into their side door. I got into my car, started the engine, and waited for them to get out of the way. They unloaded half their stuff, finally "noticed" me, and waved at me to go. Without moving themselves or their cart from in between the vehicles.
What the kimchi?
Since when is that safe practice? I shook my head. I eventually had to wait for them to finish unloading everything and get out of the way before I could move.
Fucking mooks.

Mook Of The Week

When Koreans move house, it is quite a sight. There are two vehicles involved. One is the van with all the furniture, etc., and the other is a lift which can reach as high as the top of a 15-20 story apartment building. The movers load as much stuff as they can onto a platform that goes shooting up into the air, to be unloaded through the window into the "balcony."
I say "balcony," because most Korean apartments have a storage space/laundry room where you and I expect a balcony. It seems very strange to me to waste the area that would provide a view of the outside world.
But then most Koreans seem to close off their windows rather than open them up. Businesses cover them with signage, like my hagwon. Instead of a big window, my students and I get to look at the reverse side of "CIA."

But anyway, the mook that we're looking at this week is the driver of the moving van parked squarely in the only travel lane available to anyone who wanted to use this road. The driver and his two children were milling around in front of the truck, selfishly oblivious to the bottleneck they had thus provided.

I had first seen this truck from the rear, at the far end of the street. As I approached I thought surely he must move before I got there, but no. He was still there by the time I had passed on up the street to my con-apt, about the same distance the other way as when I had first sighted the vehicle. The driver and his kids were still milling around, seemingly wothout a care in the world, and still selfishly oblivious to the world around them.
What a mook!

Mook Of The Week

Well, my time in Korea is just about up. I haven't had any responses to my applications, and nothing appealing has appeared on my radar.
But, Flint and I have many photos of many mooks to expose, so let's get to this week's idiot.
Flint and I used to spend our Sundays on the patio at Dunkin Donuts. It was a busy intersection. There were a lot of opportunities to see ritual idioting behaviour, as well as a never-ending parade of Korean hotties to shamelessly ogle.
Tap, tap.
There was a taxi queue next to the building, as it was just down the block from the bus terminal. The queue would stretch around the block, and the taxi drivers would often take up room in a travel lane, in a crosswalk, and generally slow traffic down. But god help anyone who did the same thing! The cab drivers would beep their horns and swear at the offender for doing the same thing they just did, and are about to do.
There aren't any back alleys, and not a lot of loading docks for Korean businesses, unless it's a major concern like a department store. Delivery trucks stop at the curb in front of whatever business, and bring in the supplies across the sidewalk, blocking traffic. Sometimes they'll park on the sidewalk and block pedestrian traffic.
Now, one afternoon, Flint and I witnessed the delivery to end all deliveries, perpretrated by this week's mook. He was bringing supplies to Dunkin's, and leaving it by their front door. But he wasn't piling it near the door, he was piling it in front of the door.

Your average mook will always do it. it never fails. They'll go to the narrowest point of any lane of traffic and stop there, blocking up the works for everyone else. There's been many times that Flint and I have seen this entrance blocked by mooks milling around, seemingly without any other purpose.
But this... This was a guy working for a business, and not even thinking about the business, and how someone might want to get in and spend their hard earned dollar.
You sir, are a mook!

Mook Of The Week

You know, the way Koreans act and behave as a normal way of life makes me wonder why this country isn't a smoking ruin from one end to the other. Their foolish inattention to details (selfishly oblivious) should rain disaster down on their heads every day of their lives. They just have no common sense whatsoever.
Take this week's mook, for instance. He is one of two or three mooks who deliver liquid propane gas in and around Oksan, where my hagwon is. When the LPG trucks aren't racing around with their contents clanging and banging away in the back, one or another of them is parked on the same block at some time during the day, usually at night when they're off drinking soju and molesting schoolgirls.
This week's mook has taken the selfish obliviousness to a new level by parking his truck next to an open flame. The mooks in this town take to burning their shit (literally) whenever and wherever they want to, so there are days when the air is thick enough to chew.
Maybe he didn't park their when the fire was lit, so the mook doing the burning is the MOTW. All I know is, this was the situation when I left work Friday night.

Whichever is the case, we have a mook of breathtaking stupidity.
My hagwon is still there, but for how long?
You fucking waste of skin, you are a mook!

What the... Asking Permission?!

I had kind of an up and down day on Thursday.
It was beautiful in Korea, a real sunshiney kind of day, clear and bright.
I was up early, because I had to get my car inspected and passed to drive on Korean streets.
The inspection went okay. There were a couple of things the mechanic pointed out as possibly needing attention further on down the road, but generally the car was in good running condition. I stopped in at my regular mechanic because James, my director's husband thought one of the tires was a little low. It turned out it wasn't that necessary a job, but it gave me the opportunity to get a photo of a typical Korean mechanic's garage.

Not much to look at, is it?
Anyway, the inspection was the 'up' part of the day. The 'down' part occurred when I was on my way home, and got clipped by some mook trying to cut me off. He started coming into my lane while I was still alongside of him. I sped up to get out of his way, but his right front slammed into my left rear.
I hate it when mooks try to slam into my rear!
I heard (via James) that the mook claimed I was trying to merge into his lane when the accident occurred.
Fucking mook.
The next day, James asked for my car key. He was going to look at my car. I wondered why he needed the key just to look at a scrape down the side of the vehicle, but I figured he wanted to see if it could still drive okay. It seemed all right to me, but another opinion is always welcome.
I was just about to go into my first class when he took my key, and it was about five hours later (just before my last class) that I was informed that my car was in the shop being repaired, and wouldn't be ready until Monday!
What the kimchi?!
I was kind of surprised, and I may have let my anger show at the presumption.
When James and his wife Sun (my director) told me I had to take a cab home, I asked ( a little tensely), "Who's going to pay for that?"
I mean, the insurance is going to pay for the paint job, and it'll help the resale value, but what the fuck ever happened to courtesy. Did it even occur to James that he might want to ask my permission before just going ahead and commiting my vehicle to four days in the shop?
James and Sun are a pretty good couple, and I enjoy working for them. I'm going to be sorry to leave theur employ. Good hagwons in Korea are rarer than hen's teeth. Just ask Flint.
But... jeez... can you ask first next time? Please?

Mook Of The Week

There are so many candidates that go unrecorded, because I see them while driving.

But here's one I saw on Thursday while taking some pictures around Oksan. It was a beautiful day, so I was on the roof of the kindergarten, which offers a good view of the srrounding countryside.

It's an ajumma, wheeling a baby carriage complete with baby down the main street in Oksan. This street gets pretty busy. Oksan is only a wide spot on the road, but as the road leads from here to there, a lot of traffic goes through.

Of course, there are sidewalks on both sides of the street, but why would she want to keep the kid safe from being run over? Does she have to get the kid used to being a mook as soon as possible? What's the training program a mook undergoes, anyway?

I bet this stupid bitch could tell us.

You, ma'am, are a mook.

Mook Of The Week

As you may know, I live in Cheongju, and commute to a small town called Oksan. I see many, many mooks and mookish behaviour on the road, but it's difficult to document when you're driving. I think I would be considered a mook if I was concentrating more on taking pictures than taking care of business.
It's also not a good idea to take your mind off of watching out for the next accident coming your way, because you know the mooks are selfishly oblivious.
But, I have taken to having the camera at the ready, just in case the opportunity presents itself. And, as they always do, the mooks obliged.
I saw this mook just as I was coming into Oksan. The road crosses a river, and then comes to a T-intersection. I was waiting for the light to change when I saw him.
That's Oksan in the distance. Not much more than a wide spot on the road, but it's smack in between here and there, so it gets a lot of through traffic, including heavy trucks, buses, etc.
There're also a lot Kim Kadiddlehoppers on their tractors and forklifts(!) clogging the highways and byways. Oksan is full of old ajummas and adjussis who just don't give a fuck about traffic safety. I think they must've grown up walking on the road simply because there wasn't anything else. Sidewalks are one of those recent innovations that come with entering the 20th century, and these mooks are still looking askance, deciding if they're really that practical. The jury is still out.
I mean, look at this guy! There's a guardrail there, but why would he want to walk behind that?! And walking against traffic, so you can see it coming?
No way!
They should look out for me!
Mookmookmookshepalmookchoahmookgesekimookshepalnommookmookmook.
The bridge is ahead of this mook. He was probably going across. Why? Fuck if even he knows.
But it's kind of narrow; only two lanes with no sidewalk. It wouldn't take much for some selfishly oblivious mook to rub him off against the guardrail and over the side into the drink.
But he doesn't care, 'cause he's got places to go.
You sir, are a mook.

Mook of the Week

Yea though I walk through the shadow of the valley of Mooks I shall fear no Mook because I have a shiny object.

Welcome to the latest installment of Mook of the Week. What a week it was. I actually encountered THREE candidates for Mook of the Year! It was hard to decide which one to use as Mook of the Week. After some deliberation Stig and I concluded the decision could only be made in the traditional Korean manner. Rock, Paper, Scissors. Thus we have our winner.

I was meeting my adult students at Dunkin Donuts for coffee instead of using the classroom. Being me I was VERY early. So I picked the best seat to observe the world outside. The same seat I saw last weeks Mook of the Week from. And it didn't disappoint.

While the light was red the Yellow Mook drove into the crosswalk and stopped. You could tell by the way he stopped that he was either going to pull a U or run the red and turn left. Then the green walk light came on. At this point he was just a typical mook. Blocking a crosswalk. Then he started moving forward. While people were using the crosswalk.

At this point he is through the crosswalk and out in the street. He stops. People are still crossing. A woman and child are just starting to cross. The green to walk isn't even flashing. It is still solid. Then he cuts his wheels and goes to finish the U-turn.

He came close to tagging the mook in the car who had been edging out even though the light was red. Thus blocking the other crosswalk. And even though he should be able to see that people are still using the crosswalk he stepped on the gas and sped off.


If ever there was a poster boy for Mooks this ricetard is it.

You sir, are the mookiest mook that ever mooked.

What the... Drunk?!

Well, as you know, Flint and I enjoy cigars. This week, we have been trying out some new brands rather than our usual.

We like the Romeo y Julieta and Monte Cristo's, but we decided to take advantage of the other cigars in the selection available at Maska's. We let them know our desires, and they e-mailed us a list that we have been uncontrollably drooling over ever since.

This week, we have tried a Partagas Series D No. 4, and a Bolivar Royal Coronas 25. We also got an H. Upmann Corona, but we haven't smoked it yet.

The Partagas was smooth, but strong, while the Bolivar was smoother, less strong but more flavourful. The Partagas was smoked on a Friday night, late because Flint is stuck at work until 10. So we didn't have anything with it but regular beer, which is no way to smoke a cigar. But after the work week we needed it, and it was a nice way to relax and wind down from the rigours of teaching. It gave us a chance to chat about this and that, shamelessly ogle the eye candy, and laugh at the antics of the mooks that shamble through our lives.

One of the things we talked about during our smoke was what cigars Churchill smoked. We didn't know off-hand, but a quick Yahoo search has revealed the secrets.

Churchill's cigar smoking habit began during his stay in Havana, Cuba at the end of 1895, just before his 21st birthday. He had gone there as a correspondent, and to get involved in the fighting between the government soldiers and guerilla fighters. Churchill's preference for Cuban cigars was to last him for the rest of his life (as was his other Cuban habit: the afternoon siesta).

Churchill's cigar tastes were limited to a small number of favoured suppliers. In particular, his favourite cigar brands included Romeo y Julieta (my own personal fave rave).

Churchill's cigar consumption was between 6 and 10 a day, and he maintained a supply of several thousand in a room near his study in Chartwell. Winston usually smoked his cigars down to a couple of inches.

In contemplative moments, he would let his cigars go out, and he would then chew on them as he was thinking and writing. Despite receiving cutters, and wearing one on his watch chain, Churchill would pierce the moistened end of a cigar with a match rather than cut off the end. He could also be very careless with his ash. He had a favourite silver ashtray that followed him everywhere, but he would still burn carpets and even his clothes with carelessly dropped ash.

Pepin Fernandez Rodriguez, who bought the Romeo y Julieta brand in 1903, is credited with introducing the "Churchill cigar." At 7 inches long, with a ring gauge of 47, the delicious Romeo y Julieta Churchill cigar in its distinctive red and gold band is still a favourite today. I myself kept the tube as a souvenier, and look forward to having another one any day now.

Of course, Hitler and Mussolini were non-smokers, while Churchill and Roosevelt were both keen smokers. And we all know what happened to all of them. Churchill, as a lover of food, liquor, smoke, and liberty, is one of my ideals.

So anyway, Flint and I were out on the benches earlier tonight, enjoying the Bolivar Corona, and vainly waiting for the usual parade of eye candy. The pickings were pretty slim, but the mooks were out in force.

Mookmookmookshepalchoahgesekimookchoahmookshepalnommoommookmook.

There was this one particular group gathered outside of the rib place Flint and I frequent. We noticed one particular mook smoking a cigarette with one foot up on the wooden table outside the restaurant. He looked like he was trying be dramatic and cool, but of course he came off as nothing more than a mook.

It looked as if they was trying to decide where to go. Most mooks don't know where they are going from one moment to the next, so to see them arguing about where to go is not unusual.

One person was pointing one way, and another person was pointing off in another direction, and one mook at the centre of the group was just trying to maintain his balance. It's always the way here. They drink to excess. Flint and I drink for enjoyment. Mooks drink to get plastered.

I remember coming home Friday night; the first thing I see getting out of the cab is two mooks going at it hammer and tongs. It was really funny, because both of them were so drunk they couldn't get a handle on walking, much less winning a fight.

Anyway, the group seemed to splinter, and go off in various directions. The mook at the centre, who was obviously the worse for wear, wandered into the street with another mook trailing him disconsolantly. Ignoring the traffic, as all mooks tend to do, he headed toward a Korean SUV, where he got into the driver's seat and pulled into traffic.

This is the type of shit that really gets my goat. With the number of cheap taxis and call vans available to the drunk and disorderly, there is absolutely no reason for someone over the line to get behind the wheel.

It's the kind of asshole-shit for brains-mookish-ass clown behaviour that shows all Koreans in the worst light imaginable. This is normal? People get away with this?
Fuuuuuuuuuck!

Mook of the Week

I was thinking of making our first Mook of the Week Yie Eun-Woong. Stig felt that would be using the big guns too early. He is more of a Mook of the Year.

So we had a dilemma. It isn't always easy to snap a picture of mooks in action. By the time you get your camera out they have mooked off. As we sat sipping coffee and trying to pick someone we heard some yelling.

A taxi had stopped in the street, and in the crosswalk, to let out his fares. The taxi behind beeped his horn at him. Once. Well, that was it. The driver who stopped got out of his car yelling and shaking a fist.

He LEFT his car in the street and went up to the other taxi driver's car screaming. Shebal Seki this .... gae seki that ... cho-ah mook mook mook. Quite the spectacle. He spent a good 5+ minutes shaking his fist at the other drivers window.

He finally figured out the other driver wasn't getting out, or he saw something shiny and got distracted, and went back to his car. He made a show of getting back to it. Yelled a few more times. Shook a fist in the air. Oh the injustice! He beeped at me for blocking the street! Now I have acted like a madman and saved face! Yeah me!

Then he got in his car and raced off.

What a fucking mook. He reminded me of the taxi driver I had a run in with.

So here is to you Mr. Taxi Driver. You are the Mook of the Week.

Is it Monday?

You ever have one of those days, and it isn't a Monday, when shit just happens?

Today has been one of those days. I woke up feeling like shit. Actually that is being kind. Shit warmed over. By noon I felt pukey but otherwise ok. So I went to work. (Yeah, yeah. I should have said fuck it at that point and called in sick. Like a Monday! Brain not working.)

Half way through the work day I started to feel ... cold. This actually scared some of my students. I am never cold. I wear short sleeves all year. Now I was turning the heat up and for my last 2 classes wearing my jacket. Now my co-workers are worried. Then the freezing becomes too hot. Then back and forth. God damn. I have a cold. :(

Work ends. A co-worker asks where all the info I put on the computer yesterday is. I say the file I was told to put it in. I entered it yesterday and saved it. We checked every file. Nothing. Then I check the date the file was last altered. Some fuckwit copied their version over it today instead of entering their information. Which meant my stuff was gone. At this point I said "Too bad. So sad. I will re-enter my stuff tomorrow. I am going home now.

That should have been the end of the drama and BS. But it wasn't. I had to pick up some water, juice, and stuff on the way home. I stopped at the local mart. Parked my scooter. Some fucktard in an SUV decided to back up, when he didn't need to, and knocked the scooter onto me. He SAW me pulling in and getting off the scooter. My left ankle ended up crunched under it. The fucker took off.

I picked up my scooter. Quickly grabbed some stuff and went home.

My ankle is puffed up. May have to see a doctor tomorrow.

I wish I wasn't sick. I could use a drink right now.

What The... Courtesy?!

I did Flint a favour this week. He'd received a shipment from nicedeli.com, and the package was just too big to fit on his scooter. So I swung by his school to pick it up and take it home for him.
It was a sizeable box - an armful, but not too difficult to handle. His school is on the eighth floor, and as I was riding down to the lobby, the elevator stopped on the fifth. This guy got on and rode down the rest of the way with me, not acknowledging me in any way as strangers will do.
He preceded me out of the elevator and the lobby, letting the front door close in my face as I laboured along with my arms full of package.
What the kimchi?
Since when did holding a door open for somebody become something that doesn't even cross your mind? Is the bridge out? Are your brains that crowded with thoughts of kimchi or Dokdo or your tiny penis that you can't make the courtesy connection?
I've been treated courteously before by Koreans, so I know some of them do have manners, but so many more of them act like I'm simply something in their way, an obstruction to be got round or elbowed out of the way. To them, I'm not even worthy of an "Excuse me," or even a "Shille hamnida."
This mook reminded of an adjussi who was entering a restaurant where Flint and I were chowing down on some excellent sam gyup sal. He was gawking at us while he was holding the door open for his wife, who was some way behind him. He let the door go just as she got there, shutting it in her face.
What the kimchi?
This past couple of weekends, I've gone to the movies. Last week, it was "Alice In Wonderland," and this week it was "Shutter Island." Both of these movies were disappointments (I want my money back for "Shutter"), and Flint was glad he gave them a pass.
But both times, I had a mook sitting next to me pull out his cell phone to answer a call/make a text message.
What the kimchi?
I'm trying to watch the movie, and this brain dead moron doesn't have the courtesy to think the beeps, talking, and bright light is not a distraction.
I smacked the first guy, and flicked popcorn at the second. Both of them looked at me as if to say, "What? What's your problem?"
I've already written about the discourtesy that the average Korean driver exhibits, driving like they own the road and everybody else should look out for them. I do try to look out for them, more out of a sense of self-preservation than that of being courteous. I have been less willing to allow people to cut in or merge lately, simply because of the constant never-ending mookishness I experience just driving to work.
This country is in serious need of a good paddling, and a round of cotillion. Flint has always said he would enjoy seeing them try this shit in a place like New York or L.A. They'd get more than a smack, that's for sure.

Land Of The Morning Dead

I like horror movies. My favourite character is Dracula, but zombies figure prominently among the many creatures that inhabit that scary landscape.
"Night Of The Living Dead" (1968)
"Dawn Of The Dead" (1978)
"Day Of The Dead" (1985)
"Land Of The Dead" (2005)
"Diary Of The Dead" (2007)
These are classics of the genre. No-one does it as good as George A. Romero.
So it's easy to see why I would liken the mooks and ajummas that shamble through my life here to the antagonists of Romero's series.
Whenever I leave my school, I pretend I'm in one of these movies, and I have to get to my car and get home before one of them catches me and eats my brain.
I've taken dialogue from these movies, and pieced it together to provide a commentary on what I, and Flint, and no doubt many others have experienced, and what conclusions we might make.
Enjoy.

"They're ordinary looking people. Some say they appear to be in some sort of trance. Others describe them as being misshapen monsters. At this point, there's no really authentic way for us to say who or what to look for and guard yourself against. Stay inside your houses behind locked doors."

"I realized that I was alone with fifty or sixty of those things, just staring at me! I plowed right through them. They didn't move! ... they just stood there, staring at me!"

"The scientific community is focusing on the phenomenon, specifically on that trance-like state that seems to characterize them. Clearly a behavioural disorder..."

"I've only been around them a minute or two, but that's time enough for me to decide that I don't like them very much."

"They're so slow. We could just walk right past 'em and we wouldn't even have to run."

"They're all messed up."

"What are they doing? Why do they come here?"
"Some kind of instinct. Memory of what they used to do. This was an important place in their lives."

"They're still here."
"They're after us. They know we're still here."
"They're after the place. They don't know why. They just remember. Remember that they want to be in here."

"What the hell are they?!"

"These creatures cannot be considered human. They prey on humans. Intelligence? Seemingly little or no reasoning power, but the basic skills remain. More a remembered behaviour from normal life. There are reports of these creatures using tools, but even these actions are the most primitive..."

"They are us."

"I once saw one of these things sitting behind the wheel of a car... trying to drive down the street. It didn't make me want to be its friend."

"We don't have enough ammunition to shoot them all in the head."

"You want to put some kind of explanation on all this? Here's one as good as any other: We're bein' punished by the creator..."

"It wants me! It wants food! But it has no stomach, can take no nourishment from what it ingests. It's acting on instinct!
"I call him Bub... Bub's been responding so well, I let him live."
"But is he alive or dead? Well that's the question nowadays, isn't it?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you people? They're dead! They're fuckin' dead!"

"Temporarily out of service."

"Zombies, man. They creep me out."

"They're pretending to be alive..."

"The problem doesn't seem to be that people are waking up dead, but that dead people are waking up."

"What is it? What gets into our heads when we see something horrible? A horrible accident on the highway? Something keeps us from just driving on. Something holds us. But we don't stop to help. We stop to look."

"Lock yourself inside! Don't trust anyone, not even those you love."

"They are monsters. Monsters who prey on the flesh of the living."

"See?! I told you dead things move slow!"

"Morning approaches. Things always look better in the morning calm."
"Not to me. Mornings bring light. Light brings mooks. I prefer the darkness. It's easier to hide from mooks in the dark."

What the ... gas lady?

I was watching the game when my door bell starts blasting and someone is trying to open my door. First thought ... fucking Christers are back. Turns out it was the Gas Lady to check that there are no leaks. Fine this won't take long. As she comes in the building owner summons her so she goes out, and leaves my door open. A minute later she is back. Heads out to the balcony to check for gas. Then heads to the kitchen but leaves the balcony door open.

She finds no gas leaks in the ... ahem ... kitchen. Signs off on it. Confirms my phone number. Asks for my name and is actually poised to write it. Then figures out she can't so leaves it blank and doesn't ask me to sign. She heads out not closing the door.

What the kimchi is with Koreans and doors!? Kids or adults they just don't seem to be able to simply close a god damn door. Summer or winter. They either let the heat out in the winter or the cold air out in the summer. Then they fucking wonder why they are cold or hot.

Oh the kicker with Gas Lady. I went to boil some water for coffee. Gas didn't work. Just to be safe I check ... and it is off. Bitch shut off my gas before leaving. What the kimchi!?

Ah ... Taxi drivers. :)

Interesting day today.

After lunch Stig and I were going to Dunkin Donuts. The crosswalk there is usually a cluster-fuck. It is the crosswalk I posted pictures of the car driving across the crosswalk. Today was no different.

When we went to cross the taxis had the crosswalk so blocked you had to walk on the road either side around them to cross. There was even a taxi on the OUSTISDE blocking the crosswalk (waiting to get in the taxi queue.) So I yelled at them for blocking the crosswalk. I guess the one of the outside couldn't handle being chastised by a foreigner. He leaned out his window shouting gaeseki this ... shepalnom that ... blah blah blah. My reply was to flip him the bird.

He bounded out of his taxi all pissed off. Keep in mind his taxi is STILL on the road, blocking a lane of traffic AND the crosswalk. He keeps blathering and swearing in Korean. What could I say? I told him I don't give a shit. This is a road not a fucking parking lot. He kept blathering. I told him I didn't understand (in Korean) and got off the road. You would think it ended there wouldn't you?

You would be wrong. This is Korea and he is an adjusshi with a bloated amount of self-importance. And I am but a dirty foreigner who insulted him and dared to suggest that he is not entitled to block the crosswalk and the street. He keeps standing ON THE ROAD with his cab there BLOCKING a lane of traffic yelling and whining. Posturing and pouting. Yelling at me. Yelling at the people waiting for the next green to cross. He is frothing at the mouth pointing at the road and the taxi queue in the distance. What can I say ... had to interject again. I looked at him and said I don't care. The road isn't a parking lot. With a smile.

Evidently he didn't like that. His vitriol got stronger and stronger. From this point on every other word was gaeseki. Everytime he paused I would just smile, chuckle, shrug my shoulders and say I don't care. (I think he understood that. Maybe he is a 2NE1 fan?) He stayed out IN TRAFFIC for a good 5+ minutes going on and on. Then he got in his taxi and drove off.

A minute or two later he was charging down the sidewalk screaming and yelling. Basically, he became a typical posturing adjusshi. Yelling, pointing, yelling at the people around him, raising a fist. (If you have ever seen Koreans fight it usually involves 20 minutes of posturing. Cocking a fist back every so often. Which usually causes them a lot of grief when they pull this bullshit with foreigners. You cock your fist back as if throwing a punch and most foreigners will flatten you. Seen quite a few Koreans get knocked on their ass this way. Their shocked expressions are priceless. They can't believe they were hit.)

He went on for about 5 minutes. At one point he hauled out his cell phone and threatened to call the police. Sweet. I dared him to do it. I even double dog dared him. Funny how quickly people back away from a hollow threat. He put the phone away and went back to swearing and screaming. I told him I would call the cops if he didn't. So I aksed Stig to go into Dunkins and get the manager to call the cops. (The manager there speaks English well.) In Korean I let him know the cops were being called. Well in broken Korean. He didn't like that.

After a couple more minutes of invective he went out onto the street ranting to other cabbies. Stig figured he was trying to get a lynch mob together. :) He kept this up for a few minutes. The other cabbies pretty much ignored him. Then he ranted on the sidewalk for another minute or so before mooking off to his cab.

The police showed up about 10 minutes after he left. The manager talked to them about what happened. She let them know he had left. They hoped I understood that not all Koreans are like him. (Yeah ... yeah ... I hate when they do that but at least they didn't apologize for him.)

Now I don't usually advise calling the police in Korea. 9 times out of 10 it backfires on you. (Ask Metropolitician.) This was my 1 in 10 and I doubt I will ever play that card again. I figured it would make the mook leave and it did. When I told him the police were being called he saw Stig in talking to the manager, and the manager on the phone. That is when he started backing off. (Unlike him I don't make idle threats. If i say I am gonna do it ... I do it.)

All that was left to do was sit out with a coffee and chuckle at the stupidity of the mook. I didn't want to leave my scooter out there alone just in case the asshat did come back and tried to fuck with it.

There was some mookishness after that. Some ass left his chair on the patio and then tried sitting on my scooter. Another driver parked blocking the crosswalk and then drove through/across the crosswalk. The usual idiocy.

If this happened back home I would have put him on his ass the first time he cocked his fist. (In Korea it isn't worth hitting them unless you absofuckinglutely have to because win or lose the fight you will always lose when they come after you for blood money.) He kept thrusting his finger at me too. If he had touched me, I would have popped him one regardless. But I knew he wouldn't ... he was just a posturing coward. I think my smiling kept pissing him off too. Which was what I hoped for. :)

Driving In Korea

It's a beautiful day here in the 'ju. We've had a couple days of snow, and it's a winter wonderland. But Flint already posted about that.
There's a park across the street from my one room con-apt. It slopes up sharply from the street and then levels off just above my window (I'm on the third floor). There's usually a crowd of mooks playing that soccer-volleyball hybrid game, or a herd of kindergartners shrieking and running around crazy-go-nuts.
Today there's some kids using scrap pieces of cardboards as sleds on the slopes, sliding right into the street. Or they would if it wasn't lined with cars. I wonder if they sell sleds or toboggans here? Most of the places I've lived in Korea get snow for about a day at most, so I guess there's not much of a market for them. I remember what fun I had when I was younger. Calvin and Hobbes reminded me of just how dangerous a toboggan can be, so I figured Koreans would love it.
But I was going to write about driving in Korea, wasn't I?
I was not looking forward to driving in the snow, but my director called me to say she was closing, and that we would resume classes tomorrow. I was relieved to say the least.
I used to think Koreans were the worst drivers in the world, until I went to Saigon. Now I'm thankful Koreans aren't that bad.
I've had a car for about a year and a half now, and I've had four accidents. They've all been nothing more than scrapes/fender-benders, but still...
Flint has talked about selfishness vs. obliviousness. I lean towards Korean drivers as being selfish more than oblivious. They do tend to ignore everything that is not right directly in front of them, but it is far more important for them to be first. Running red lights, cutting people off, driving too close, and weaving in and out of traffic are just some of their tricks. They can NOT be second, even if it means endangering themselves and everyone around them.
Take my most recent accident. I was waiting at an intersection, intending to cross a busy road and go down a side street. There was a long line of traffic waiting for the light, and I knew I would never make it. I went into the right hand turn lane, intending to go straight and squeeze into the line of traffic. The driver I got in front of was so incensed, he crossed the centre line, zoomed ahead of me, and cut me off, clipping my front bumper in the process.
So we stopped, and I called my director's husband to interpret for me. The other driver was all silent and non-confrontational with me when He saw my foreigness. I eventually gave him 50,000 won and went on my way. First, I might add.
They are all about keeping in front of everyone else. I remember reading an article in TIME magazine about Asian drivers. A Chinese driving instructor told his pupil NOT to use his signal light, because it would give the other driver a clue to his intentions, making it easier to close up the space before he could change lanes.
Koreans use turn signals, but sparingly. They are much more in love with their four-way flashers. Flint says they think it means they can do anything and they're covered.
The obliviousness does come into it as a factor in their driving. I take it as read that every driver on the road is a potential bomb waiting to go off and destroy me utterly. I try to be careful and be prepared for any crazy shit to happen at any moment. Keeps me on my toes.
Flint says he could never be patient enough to drive a car. He would become consumed by road rage, and violence would ensue. I take the opportunity to work on my patience, take it easy, and take out my frustrations on my students.
Joke.
No, really.
But not all Korean drivers are crazed maniacs with their feet pushed to the floor. Some of them are kinda slow, almost like they're 'luuded up, or something. People can't drive that slow and not be influenced chemically in some way.
The first accident I had is an example of how dumb they can be. The streets in my neighbourhood are fairly narrow, made even more so by the cars parked on both sides. The driving lane is one car wide at best. If you meet an oncoming driver, one of you has to give way. I remember waiting for half an hour before one cab driver finally backed down.
Anyway, I was coming around a corner when an oncoming vehicle forced me to put my car into reverse and back up so he could get by. As I started to back up, however, I heard some shouting, scooter horn beeping, and saw general mookish milling around in my rear view. I waited a bit, and then started backing up again, but heard more shouting, beeping, and saw yet more mookishness.
After I saw a scooter go off the other way, I started to back up yet again, right into a delivery scooter. I broke off a piece of his front wheel cover. 50,000 won and he was on his way.
I still wonder to this day what he thought my back up lights were for. Was he hypnotized? Koreans are mollified by bright shiny objects, so maybe...
Between being selfish/oblivious, Korean drivers do make life more interesting.

Shut the fuck up!

Loud people come in all sizes, shapes, and colours. It isn't limited to just Koreans. Today was a prime example of that.

I was meeting Stig for a late lunch at Popeye's. (Popeye's it's the shiznay!) I was early, wish I had been late. The only other people were a couple of foreigners who sat at the other end of the restaurant.

Interesting people. NOT!

She is from Georgia, hasn't been in Korea long. Hates fried chicken. (What the fuck was she doing at Popeye's eating ... fried chicken?) Growing up they ate fried chicken for most meals because her father loved it. They had to stop when her mother developed an illness. Then they switched to boiled chicken. Blah blah blah blah.

He is an American too. He has been in Korea a while. However, the most important thing is that he wants her. You see "we" have been going out all the time for three weeks. What does that mean? He likes to complain about nothing. she got exactly what she ordered and he was actually bitching about the fact she got what she ordered. The mind wobbles. I was actually hoping the clerk would turn up the volume of the K-Pop music to drown these idiots out.

They both like to think the know Korean. I would never say I know Korean well but mine is WAAAAAAY better than the incomprehensible sounds they uttered. Oh and he is teaching her Korean.

You get the idea. Loud and giving me FAR more information than I care to know about them. I usual wait a bit before telling people to shut the fuck up. Stupidly hoping some common sense will kick in and they will tone down. They left just before they hit my threshold

I got to see more of their stupidity in action just before they left. As I went to the counter to order. (Stig showed up for the tale end of these 2 mooks.)

The woman gets to the counter just before me. Looks at the clerk and says to her snarkily "Do you speak Korean? No you don't."

Then the bitch turns to the cook, who happened to be out and says "I want a napkin!" He just looked at her so she repeated "Napkin! Napkin!"

Isn't her Korean wonderful? I never knew the Korean for Napkin was napkin. Thank you loud mouthed bitch for that Korean lesson. Now I don't have to use the English word tissue that 99.99% of the Koreans I have encountered know as napkin.

The cook figured it out and gave her a napkin. Then, thank the powers that be the mooks left.

I hate people like that. Bloody obnoxious assholes.

I was going to file this under What the ... kimchi? but it does fit in the Selfishly Oblivious category more.

A friend and I were sitting on the patio at Dunkin Donuts a few weeks ago. It is on a pretty standard intersection. Cars, especially taxis, constantly park illegally and block a lane. It should have 3 lanes per side at this point. However, the Dunkin side is usually relegated to 1 or 2.

This day, there were three assholes parked illegally. One of them, the one we will be discussing more, was blocking half of the crosswalk. (It is normal here for the taxi queue to stretch down and block the crosswalk.) They were there for a good hour before 1 of them left.

Finally, about 20 minutes later, the stupid bitch gets back in her car. She sits there with the car running. As soon as the light turns green for the PEDESTRIANS to walk she backs INTO the other pedestrian lane. The she turns left INTO the lane an drives THROUGH it while people are crossing! (I didn't have my camera out so I missed the first few seconds.)

I probably shouldn't be astounded by the stupidity of this driver, but I was. It isn't the first, second, or even the third time I have seen something like this. I once screwed up my ankle dodging some stupid bitch who pulled a stunt like this while I was using the crosswalk. Unfortunately I was busy kissing the pavement so I wasn't able to smash her window in or dent her door.

Which leads me to the reaction of the Koreans crossing the road. Except for some looks ... nothing. No yelling. Nothing. I was expecting at least some yelling. No one tried denting her hood.

As for the driver, she is and always will be nothing but a Cunning STunt!

Oblivious or selfish?

I was working out at the gym one day when my work out buddy (a co-worker) showed up late. He was PISSED. He spent the next 15-20 minutes ranting about how selfish Koreans are. About Korean drivers, pedestrians, bicyclists. It was strange because I am the one that usually rants about things.

He was late because of some stupid (or as he put it selfish) drivers. Idiots obstructing traffic, driving too slow, cutting people off and slowing down. The usual sort of things that drive people crazy. Then he started talking about how Koreans usually pay no attention to what is going on around them, whether they are walking, driving, bicycling, shopping, etc. This is why the tend to walk into people, cut people off, and drive like idiots. If it isn't a direct part of their little world then it doesn't matter to them. Hence his calling them selfish. He also said that they learn this growing up from Korean Society. Watching how their family and peers are.

I always considered them oblivious. Koreans just don't seem to use their peripheral vision. (I remember a guy on Dave's ESL getting slagged as a racist because he asked Do Korean's have peripheral vision?) They don't seem to pay attention to anything around them. Just the night before I had been shopping at Home Plus. Just going from the back of the store to the front, which should have taken a minute took 4-5 minutes because of these stupid zombies. A couple, each with a cart, had to walk side by side taking up a whole aisle. Then a friend of the woman was pushing a cart towards them. They just stopped, blocking the whole aisle. The women squealed and whined greetings while the man just stood there. They were totally oblivious to blocking the aisle. In the time it took to get to the front of the store I ran into another 9 morons like these ones. Some whacking you with their cart because they aren't watching where it is going. Others stopping in the middle of the aisle and then moving their cart sideways to block the aisle while they look at something on a shelf. A bunch of oblivious morons. Or so I thought.

My friend didn't agree. He said the obliviousness is part of it but it is because they are selfish. They just don't care how their actions affect others. So they don't pay attention to others or what they do.

It was an interesting discussion after the rant, although the rant was interesting too. Oh before the apologists start jumping on my friend for being a racist (and I am sure I can hear them salivating now) I should mention he is Korean. Not Korean-American, Korean-Canadian. Nor has he lived abroad. He is a Korean born and bred.

Taking all of what he said into consideration, and his insights into Korean culture, I had to switch from obliviousness to selfishness as the reason Koreans are the way they are.