The Pill

I only had two room-mates in the ten years I was in Korea (whew!). The second was a pretty good guy, but the first, who worked with me at my first school, was the worst!
Imagine a depressed, angry, paranoid individual and multiply him by ten. That was the man I'll call The Pill.
When I arrived in Korea, my director, Mr. Kim aka The Kimmer, and his assistant James dropped me off at the apartment I was to share with him. We chatted for a few minutes, and then The Kimmer left, and I turned to see if all of my bags were in my room, or something, and when I turned back, HEY PRESTO! There was a Korean girl standing next to The Pill.
It turned out to be his girlfriend, who I will call Two-Na. She had been hiding in The Pill's room while the director was there. I wondered why.
The Pill started to reveal somewhat about their relationship (and his nature) as we walked to the school that first day.

This was the building our school was in. It occupied the fourth and fifth floor. The name of the school was "Wonderland," which is a fairly large franchise in Korea. There motto (prominently displayed everywhere) was "Everyone Smiles In Wonderland." I ended up working at three different Wonderlands. One was good, one was okay, and one was very bad. I suppose I was lucky in that I got the one that was very bad out of the way first.
One of the reasons this school was very bad was because of The Pill. As we walked there on my first day, he began talking about it (and its director) as if it was the bane of his existence. He felt that they were always spying on him, and that they didn't believe foreigners should be "involved" with local girls, and that is why Two-Na was hiding that night. I could see that he was in a very bad place, and it coloured my perception of my new job.
I had expected to receive some kind of training before I would be expected to teach. I think that this belief came from things the recruiter said. I didn't know at the time that recruiters will do and say anything until they drop you off and get their money, and then you are on your own.
My "training" consisted of following one of the other teachers around for a couple of days before being asked to do it on my own. Apparently The Kimmer and his aides felt that a person completely untutored in managing a classroom could absorb enough knowledge to do it alone in that time. Eventually I became comfortable in the classroom, but those first months were filled with terror that began as soon as I walked in and continued until the end of the day.
Besides The Pill, there were only two other foreign teachers at the school, who I will call Dolly and Marty. Both were Americans. The Pill was a Canadian who had moved to Texas at some point, and he constantly talked about how great it was there. I began to consider him as an American as time went by.
Marty's contract was up at the end of December (I started with about a week left in November), and he was counting down the days like he couldn't wait to get out of there. Dolly seemed happy enough to be there, and I believe her contract had until the following summer to run. The Pill's was about the same.
Dolly did a runner within two weeks, however, and after Marty left, The Pill and I were left to handle the workload alone.
The head Korean teacher was a man named Jay, whose job it was to look after the curriculum and any questions a teacher might have about it.
The disorganization of the office became apparent almost immediately. The books were crammed helter-skelter into shelves. Supplies were sometimes available, sometimes not. Teachers were given a basket with which they were to carry their supplies to whatever room they were teaching that day. Each class had its own room, and the teachers were to go to them rather than have them come to the teacher's room. There was only one school I taught in that allowed us teachers to set up in our own room. It was brilliant, and I missed that at every other school, which all asked you to "chase the students."
My poor performance as a teacher eventually revealed Jay's real role, which was to blame the foreigner any time anything went wrong, and heap abuse on them until they felt like shit. If a parent complained, or a student wasn't being coddled, Jay would descend like the wrath of God on all and sundry. It didn't help that I knew my skills were non-existant, and my performance was shite. There was no way I could defend it.
But what did they expect? They knew I was inexperienced, and they hired me anyway. Did they expect me to turn into a good teacher overnight? According to the Korean government's parameters, I was qualified enough to be allowed into the country to teach English. I knew I needed more experience and that I would not be able to be effective in the classroom without more training. I expected to receive this training from the school, but I did not. When my performance suffered as a result, who was to blame?
It didn't help that as time went on, living with The Pill became more and more difficult. His paranoia eventually brought him to include me among his many enemies, and he began to take every opportunity he could to be critical of anything and everything I did. When he saw me reading my Bible, he quoted the verse in Matthew that admonished a person to go into his closet and study privately. When I ate the last portion of rice left in the cooker, he reacted as if I had stolen the last bit of food left on the earth. I liked my toast darker than him, but he expected me to reset the toaster after I had used it to his own preference.
When we returned to the apartment at the end of the day, he and Two-Na usually closeted themselves in his room, and did not interact with me at all. I was left to my own devices, and expected to be out of their way if they wanted the apartment to themselves.
The Pill was very protective of her, and he revealed why about a week after I had arrived.
He told me she was pregnant with his child.
I did the math, and this must have been accomplished about a month after he had arrived in Korea. Fast work!
He was pestering the Kimmer for his own place, and as our relationship deteriorated, I began pestering the Kimmer, as well. It had gotten to the point where we passed each other without speaking, even in the apartment.
When he moved out, I fell to my knees and thanked God in Heaven above. Deliverance!
But the Pill had one last trick to play on me before he left my life for good.
New teachers eventually arrived, including another male who became my room-mate. He was an Australian who I'll call Gargamel. Two British girls named, um, Carol and uh, Di, as well as a Canadian girl called... Barbie rounded out our group. Life actually became bearable after these people arrived. They actually knew how to converse with other human beings. They were willing to explore Korea with me, and they were more than willing to have a good time.
Within a few months I began to enjoy my time in Korea, and my job as well. It helped to have somebody to talk to and lend a helping hand, as well as commiserate regarding the daily helping of bullshit we all had to eat.
At the end of May, all the Wonderlands in southeast Korea were coming together at a conference in a hotel on Haeundae Beach in Busan. Each group of foreign teachers had to make some kind of presentation about lessons/lesson plans. We came up with a skit about making a car and teaching the kids about directions. The Pill didn't contribute too much. He made a dramatic speech at one of our meetings that Two-Na was experiencing complications, and he had to be there with her. Then his mother died, and he had to go back to Canada to be at her funeral.
All lies.
Our presentation actually came in second at the convention and we divided a cash prize amongst ourselves. It was a bittersweet time, because I was about to leave that Wonderland and start work at another in Changwon.
Our school had six teachers and their school had five. The Kimmer explained that we had one too many, and they had one too few. I was elected to make the move.
I don't know why he picked me. Maybe he thought I was the weakest teacher, and the school'd be better off without me. It would have made more sense to oust The Pill, as he was the outsider in our group. We all worked well together and got along, whereas he separated himself from us as much as possible.
Maybe a smarter man could have figured out a way to convince The Kimmer of this, but I was not that man. His mind was made up. He didn't want The Pill to go. He wanted me to.
The weekend after the convention, The Kimmer and Gargamel loaded up my stuff into The Kimmer's car and drove me down to Changwon.
On Monday, The Pill did not show up to work. He had pulled a runner, and now The Kimmer had to find someone to take his place. He didn't ask for the other Wonderland to send me back, but went about recruiting someone else.
The Pill had fucked me over but good. The times he said he was looking after Two-Na he was looking for another job. And the trip home for his mother's funeral was actually a trip to Seoul to interview for that job.
I have never seen The Pill since that time, in spite of my intense desire to meet him in a dark alley and find out how many pieces I can carve him into. I have to content myself with the knowledge that every day of his life he is going to wake up, look in the mirror, and realize he will always be what he is, a complete and utter waste of skin.

teacherkoreans.com

Since I talked about the seminar that teachkoreans.com put on for the Korean Government I figured I would take a look at them. Who are they? What do they do?

Well, it isn't a school. It is a recruiting company run by two people, one British and one Korean. Yes, the Korean government had recruiters put on a mandatory seminar to instruct foreigners on cultural differences and sexual assault. Their site LOOKS professional and polished at first glance. When you start to peruse it you notice things though.

One of the first things I noticed is that the "cultural differences" they informed current teachers about in their seminar were pretty much IGNORED on their website. Which, considering how it was crammed down our throats and some of it is actually good, seems strange.

Some of the stuff on the site seemed good. Some stuff they did mention on the website had me shaking my head. Other things made me wonder if a Korean wrote the site. Some of it made me wonder if Chris in South korea had written it.

The Good

The site does give some good basic info. They touch on some things, like a lack of planning. Or the fact most Hagwons want happy students not necessarily well educated ones. But the key word is that they touch on it. Nothing in depth. Nothing too detailed.

The Bad

They left out some important things, like the aforementioned cultural differences. Or glossed things over.

First is health care and insurance. They say Korea has NO National Healthcare system. Then what the hell is the National Health Insurance I was signed up for my last 4+ years in South Korea?

They do mention employers have to provide healthcare 50/50 but make no mention of NHS. That is a fairly important thing to leave out because if I remember correctly the law says they have to put us on the NHIC or a private 50/50 plan. If we want the NHIC that is what they are supposed to give us. Kind of an important fact to leave out.

Odds are they meant to say FREE healthcare rather than National Healthcare.

Next you have housing. They say;

"You will be provided with a single studio apartment/bachelor suit free of charge that is within walking distance to your school. You may find your place is a little smaller than you are used to but it will be comfortable nevertheless. If you arrive with a positive and realistic attitude about your housing you will be pleasantly surprised."

Or you won't be if you are put in an older, and therefore cheaper for the school, apartment. They then go on to give you an unrealistic expectation after saying you should have a realistic attitude.

"You will have your own kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and washroom. The bathroom will have a toilet, sink and shower but don't expect a bathtub as they are uncommon in Korea."

That certainly doesn't set a realistic expectation for people. Your kitchen will be a nook in your entrance and is often an after thought. They would have better off saying there is a kitchen nook. Calling what you will get a kitchen is not reasonable. Also, bathrooms don't always have sinks. Your shower is part of your bathroom and not a separate stall. After saying people should have realistic attitudes it would be better to give them realistic information.

Some of the comments on the Korean language were a little strange too.

"The Korean language is called Hanguk- ugh. It is the only language in Korea and is used by 80 million Korean speakers."

Hanguk-UGH? Not to nit pick but it is not pronounced UGH. More like UH. If you are going to tell people how to say something in another language and spell it phonetically in Englishee do a better job.

The most important thing for you to know is that it is not necessary to learn the language to live and teach in Korea.

Ok, maybe that should be under The Ugly and not The Bad. That is a very stupid thing to tell people. It is true, you can get by without learning Korean, but it is a stupid thing to tell people who are coming to live in a foreign country.

The important thing to do is learn some basic words and phrases that will get you through life in Korea EVEN if you are only there for a year. Learn how to say please, thank you, hello, good bye, your welcome. Right, left, straight. Learn some of the basics. You don't have to be fluent. You don't even have to be able to string a sentence together.

Whether you NEED to know some Korean or not to get by it would be nice if you knew some basics in the language. Forget the fact that it would simply be polite to learn and use the language, it would be necessary if you deal with those Koreans who have no English.

The Ugly

Where to start? How about with one of the stupidest statements I saw on the site.

Korea has 4 distinct seasons:

When I saw that lead in to the section on weather in South Korea I thought "Oh fuck me! How stupid are these people?"

Some of the STUPIDEST things I read on their website were in the section on Korean children.

"Despite their workload they are generally well-behaved, enthusiastic and respect their teachers."

Hahahahahahaha!!!!! Yeah. Right.

Then there is this gem.

"There is virtually no bullying in Korean schools"

I don't know what drugs they are taking but only a real moron, or someone with NO idea of what goes on in Korean schools, let alone society, would EVER make a statement like that. Considering the incidents, and their severity, of bullying that make the English language news in South Korea this statement is insane. And that is without even bringing up the whole Junior-Senior BS that goes on.

The UGLIEST has to be leaving out the cultural differences that they went on about at the Seminar. If the site is supposed to be there to inform people what to expect if coming to South Korea to teach English leaving out that information is a gross error. Why not let people know that the contracts are not considered binding? That things will change at the last minute? That your boss will expect a lot more out of you?

Now that is an easy question to answer. In the end the website is part of their business. If they started telling the whole truth they would have less people interested in coming to South Korea. People just might shy away from working in a country where you legally binding document isn't. Where your conditions are subjected to the whim of your master errr Director. Not very surprising, after all their paying client is the school. Not the person looking to teach.

Coming to Korea

A reader emailed me recently and said she was toying with the idea of coming to South Korea to teach. She was kind of worried about being screwed over by a recruiter or hagwon. Job offers had come in but it seemed to good to be true.

That is the problem when dealing with most recruiters and hagwons. They will tell you what they think you want to hear. When you arrive in Korea you find out things are different.

The recruiters (for the most part) aren't really concerned about what you are looking for. They want to fill a position and make some money. Then move on. They will tell you whatever they have to in order to get you to South Korea and at a school. What happens after that is not their problem.

One woman who came to work at the hell hole called Ivy School was hired by such a recruiter. She told the recruiter that she did NOT want to work with kids. Only adults. The recruiter said no problem. So of course she found herself at a school that taught kindergarten up to middle school and had NO adult classes. The lieing assholes that ran the school never corrected the comments of the recruiter because they wanted a teacher ASAP.

Even dealing with Hagwons directly doesn't guarantee getting what you are looking for. As mentioned above, the hagwons will lie to you as well. One of the problems with talking to current teachers is that you can't be 100% sure you are talking to them or getting the truth. It is a good idea to try and talk to them but you have to be able to separate the chaff from the wheat.

For example many hagwons will give you the email address for a current teacher. But it is really them. The ones with poor English usually give themselves away. Some are more devious and get people who have good English pretend to be the teacher. after I stopped doing recruiting for them Ivy School would get current teachers to email prospective teachers BUT they had to send the email from work. Sometimes a Korean teacher, like the bitch of an office manager, would read what you sent. Someone with good English who would know if you told the truth about problems or bad schools. (The truth being that there are problems.)

Even when it comes to phone calls you have to be careful. Once again using Ivy School as an example, they would have you call people form the Hawgon. They would stand behind you and listen (or have someone with good English do it) to everything you said. These tactics will make some foreigners hesitate to speak the truth about schools.

It isn't always the Koreans that will screw you around either. At my first Hagwon the owner offered 300,000 won to any teacher who brought in new teachers. Matt brought in 2 new teachers, a couple. He lied and held back information because he wanted the money. The guy in the couple was a friend of his. Greedy assholes like that will screw you over just as quickly to make a buck as a recruiter or hagwon owners.

This doesn't make it easy to actually trust anyone when you trying to get to Korea for the first time. Just remember that the ONLY person you can count on to look out for your interests is YOU. Don't expect the recruiter to do it, or the hagwon, or even a friend. They all have their own interests and goals.

The best thing you can do is to research. When the recruiter gives you the name of a hagwon or school interested in you google it. A little research can go a long way. One reader once asked me about a school in Daegu called Andover. Language School. A simple google check set off a LOT of warning bells. If you have friends already there get them to ask around about the school in question. There is even a Facebook page about schools in Korea.

Not to keep repeating myself but I am going to anyway. :) Don't count on anyone to look out for your best interest except you. Do your homework. The chance of being screwed over or jerked around will be lower.