Pucca Face

Last night I was sitting around a fire talking with some friends. We all started telling stories from our lives and I told them some from Korea.

One of my favourite classes only had 3 students but they worked well together. Their English was pretty good and they all wanted to be there. It was the kind of class where you can throw the book out and talk about anything.

One time I opened the class to anything they wanted to talk about and the subject they picked was Western music. I ended up bringing my laptop in and showing them some videos on YouTube. The last one was Lady Gaga's "Poker Face".

When the video finished one of the students started singing her version of "Poker Face". She called it Pucca Face. I can't remember all of her lyrics but as you can guess Poker always became Pucca. The students ended up doing some Pucca and Garu artwork and making a story up as well.

The next class one of them showed up with a Pucca face on a stick and ty started singing the song again. It was hilarious.

Anytime I hear Lady Gaga's name I think of "Pucca Face." I miss teaching that class.

The Good Ship Kimchipop

A Flint and Stig production, inspired by 3gyupsal.

I've thrown away my pirate toys

Even my gun and blades.

I wanna make some noise

Making farts all day

The kimchi inspired way.

I'll learn how to make it too

And when I do, how would you

Like to be in my kimchi pirate crew ...

Oh the good ship Kimchipop

It's a spicy trip to the food shop

Where adjummas play

On the sunny beach of Busan bay.

Jimjilbangs are everywhere

The smell of garlic fills the air.

And there you are

Happy landing at a soju bar.

See the cabbage dance with kochujang

near a great big spicy kimchi rice cake.

If you eat too much ooh ooh

Your colon could start to bake.

On the good ship kimchipop

Make a korean pancake then into jail you hop

And dream away

On the good ship kimchipop.

Cult of Victimology

(I told ya that the YouTube idiots got me thinking. :) This is to the tune of Cult of Personality.)

"Some folks take on a "victim personality" and they express themselves as a victim in every situation." (Bi-Polar Disorder Today)

Look in our eyes, what do you see?

the Cult of Victomology

Do you know our anger, and our dreams

We've lost everything can't you see ohhh…

We're in the Cult of Victomology

Crimes of America and the Chinese

We're in the Cult of Victimology

the Cult of Victimology

the Cult of Victimology

Our land, others prize

When others speak, they just tell lies

The Japanese won't let us be

Only we can keep Dokdo free

We sell the things you need to see

We're the Korean Wave on your T.V. ohh…

We're in the Cult of Personality

You exploit us; still won't let us be

Korea is best why can't you see ohh…

We're in the Cult of Victimology

Like the Korea Times and Kang Shin Who ohh…

We're in the Cult of Victimology

the Cult of Victimology

the Cult of Victimology

Our Prez made a great beef deal,

But we're too prone to catch EVERYTHING.

You won't get as sick as us,

Why do you always throw us under the bus?

(Guitar solo)

You envy our fortune, you envy our fame

You envy our power as we evade blame

We are the people you need to be ohh…

We're, stuck, in, the, Cult, of, Vic, Tim, Ol, Ogy

We're in the Cult of (x8)

Victimology

"The widespread self-image of ``Korea-as-victim,'' along with its byproduct of conspiracy theories, is an important ingredient in Korea's national glue." (Jon Huer in The Korea Times)

"More than a half-century later, South Korea’s nationalistic fervor and sense of victimhood still inform sporting rivalries between the two nations." (Jere Longman in NY Times)

“If it's never our fault, we can't take responsibility for it. If we can't take responsibility for it, we'll always be its victim.” (Richard Bach)

Shebal

Another Flint & Stig rip-off.

(to the tune of "She Bop")

We-hell-I see them every day in their pink outer-wear.
With their man-purse and their vacant slack-jawed glare.
Hey, they're not thinking of what they say,
They're looking at - Hey! - My way?!
Oop - she bal.

Do I wanna punch them when they all stare?
Huh, yea, I wanna go and throw them ev'rywhere!
Hey, that son-of-a-bitch said that I am slime.
He said I'm utter crap
And that I'm a crime.
Oop - she bal - she bal.

She bal -- he bal -- a wae gook,
I bal -- you bal -- a -- they mook,
Be bal -- Be bal -- a -- lu -- she bal,
I hope he will understand,
She bal -- he bal -- a -- wae gook,
I bal -- you bal -- a -- they mook,
Oo -- oo -- she bal -- she bal -- she bal.

(whistle along here... )

Hey, hey - they say I better go learn some names.
Because I can't understand all their Dokdo claims.
No, I won't worry, and I won't fret.
Ain't no law against me yet.
Oop - she bal - she bal.

She bal -- he bal -- a wae gook....

I'm Fed Up!

(to the tune of Alizee's "I'm Fed Up!")

They're babo (means stupid), heads up their asses.
There's more sense in th' stump of a tree.
To think for minutes, makes their head hurt,
They're completely moronic!

It's a big problem, their lazy mind.
Babo and stubborn, their lazy mind.
Melon full of shit is just a waste.
It makes me wonder , Is it a brick?

They're babo (means stupid), heads up their asses,
Mooks you keep away from me!
Today lying low, twisting my head,
Watching for idiots sneaking up on me.

I'm fed up with mookishness, I'm so overstressed,
Fumbling, crawling after soju that always flows down & back up,
I'm fed up with creeps crying over the cold, Wear a coat!
Not very cool but a fool, if I could mess up their rules,
I'm fed up with your complaints, mook. Use your brain for once!
Fed up with the lame pathetic excuses they give.
I'm fed up with hypocrites smiling, waving, As if!
I'm fed up with dumbass mooks! Fed up!

They're babo (means stupid), heads up their asses,
There's more sense in the finger of me!
No delight or pleasure, moronic measures,
Give me such misery, their idiocy.

Bada bada bum....

Ballad of Anton Ono

After reading the last Korean BS about Ono on KRD's site I was struck with a song idea. To the tune of The Green Berets

The Ballad of Anton Ono

Fighting skaters on the ice

Fearless men who gold does entice

Men who lean, grab, jostle, and sway

Their goal to stop Anton Ono today

Silver medals just will not do

These are men with something to prove

1500 metres they'll race today

But there is only one gold to take away

Trained to skate, and stop their foe

They must stop Anton and win the show

Men who jostle, grab, and kvetch

Then point and swear Anton is a wretch

Silver skates upon their feet

They can only whine if they are beat

Of all the men who will skate today

The Koreans don't want Anton to get away

Back at home a people grits their teeth

With lots of cursing and disbelief

They pretend Anton cheated today

And print lies and half truths without delay

Put silver skates on our sons feet

THey are gentlemen and can compete

One of them will be the man is all they say

Who will make Anton cry with dismay

House of the Morning Calm

Ok, Ajay laid down the challenge and Stig and I decided to do an individual effort. A song to sum up life in Korea. This is mine, done to House of the Rising Sun.

There is a place in Asia

They call the Morning Calm

And it's been the frustration of many a foreigner

And God I know I'm one

When you come it is all new

And seems like so much fun

Once you get to know it

The place comes undone

Now the people say they want you

To come and teach English

But you spend most your life here

Feeling like a goldfish

------ organ solo ------

Oh adjumma tell you children

Not to do what you have done

Spent your life pointing and staring

And generally looking dumb.

Well, you can find some good people

Usually they remain unseen

Drunkards and letches abound

While the streets aren't very clean

Well, there is a a place in Asia

They call the Morning Calm

Life there can be good and bad

But now my time there is done.

Kang Shinwho Writing

Another Flint & Stig Production

(to the tune - sort of - of "Kung Fu Fighting")

Talkin' about Kang Shinwho's wri-uh-ting,
That cat plagiarizes fast as light-uh-ning.
His editor's a little bit fright-uh-ning,
The way he approves his suh-li-ming.

They're the funky Korean men,
From the funky Korean Times.
They're ripping other papers off,
And lying all around the town.

It's an ancient Korean art,
and ev'rybody knows their part.
From a puke into a slip,
and drinking from the hip.

Talkin' about Kang Shinwho's wri-uh-ting,
That cat plagiarizes fast as light-uh-ning.
His editor's a little bit fright-uh-ning,
The way he approves his suh-li-ming.

There was funky Oh Youngjin,
and little Lee Eunung.
He said "Here comes the foreigner,
Let's tear his rep all down!"

He took a lie and made it stand,
And spread it all around the land.
The stupid mooks who read this crap,
Fall right into their fiendish trap!

Talkin' about Kang Shinwho's wri-uh-ting,
That cat plagiarizes fast as light-uh-ning.
His editor's a little bit fright-uh-ning,
The way he approves his suh-li-ming.

(repeat) ... make sure you have no ethics,
Kang Shinwho's writing,
has no moral compass...

Note: Oh Youngjin is the Korea Times' city editor,
and Lee Eunung is the Anti-English Spectrum mook (his official title).