Year 1 - The Corner Store

There was a Green Mart (I believe a Green Mart, definitely a Something Mart) on the ground floor of the small apartment building I lived in during my 1st year in Korea. The owners were an older couple and great people, as were their kids. They ended up becoming grandparents twice in the same week. Their sons's wife and their daughter gave birth a few days apart. As of my last week in Korea they still kept a bottle of wine in case set aside in case some of the old gang came by. But I digress.

I was just watching No Reservation: Macau and Bourdain was talking about how government over regulation hurts the street food industry everywhere. While chowing down of course. :) It reminded me of when the government started cracking down on stores and shops putting tables on the sidewalk.

There was a huge sidewalk that linked the side street to the main street. Even with tables set out there was lots of room to move around. The corner store had tables out so people could sit, drink and eat. A restaurant on the other side of the walk put out some tables. It was a great place to gather before an outing or come back to and decompress after an outing.

Then one day after World Cup the tables were gone except for a few snug against the store. The cops and a government official had come by and told them they were not allowed to put tables out on the walk way. If they did they would be fined.

What brought this on? Pedestrians complaining because they couldn't walk through? Scooter's complaining because the side walk was too unsafe to drive on with so many people there? Nope. It was some other restaurants in the area who got their ass in the air because the store was cutting into their business. Their over lap crowd wouldn't wait around for a seat to open. If there was space by the store they would head there and settle in. Mind you some of the same restaurants didn't mind sending food OUT to the tables by the stores to serve their overlap crowd.

This "ruling" was disappointing. You would meet some interesting people out there. Plus you could sit outside instead of being jam packed into a restaurant or bar. Add to that the convenience of it being beside my apartment building. ;)

A man ahead of the times.

I knew a foreigner who seems, in light of the Korean government saying contracts aren't binding, to have actually known more about contracts in South Korea than any other foreigner did.

Johnathan was an interesting character. A nice enough guy but kind of flaky and one of the cheapest sons of bitches you will ever meet. If he was out with a group he would figure out his portion of the bill to the smallest amount and give just that. That is if he actually had to pay and wasn't just mooching.

I ended up getting the job at Ivy School through him. He had just re-signed with them for another year. As my year there was starting off well his was going down hill. After signing a contract Johnathan decided he should be head teacher, making more money and the school should be paying a maid to clean his apartment. So, he felt justified in re-opening his contract negotiations. In the end he wasn't going to get anything he hadn't signed for already so he pulled a runner.

I always thought he was an ass for doing that. A contract is a contract. You negotiate then sign it and abide by it. Of course that was based on the faulty premise that contracts in South Korea are binding documents. Johnathan was actually on the same wavelength as Koreans by seeing the contract as a mere starting point for more negotiation and demands.

Konglish

Korean Adventure (August 2, 2002 Chautauqua)

"Enjoy your outdoor life with National Icebox. Through the green maze of quaking aspens and burly cottonwoods, the squirrel's eyes glitter silver. Black eddies shimmer like mirrors. Riffles sparkle like pools of diamonds, and the quiet holes cast the glow of awesome emeralds. The valley of the northern alps is almost a magical place for the camper and the back packer. Perhaps there is no finer place."

The preceding piece of prose is featured on a picnic cooler that my friend Mick Dundee rescued from a rubbish "tip." It is an example of what some foreigners disparagingly refer to as "Konglish." It is an attempt by a Korean with a limited knowledge of our language to use it to sell something. It has been under fire most recently for the slogan of Korea's soccer team: "Korea Fighting."

Some critics thought that such a violent term, used to support a soccer team, might be seen as a contribution to "hooliganism" that sometimes mars soccer games. The opposite happened here, as most Korean soccer fans were well-behaved, and their celebrations did not include rioting. There were hundreds of thousands of them gathered in the streets to watch the games on huge-screen TVs, and not only were they well-behaved, they even cleaned up after themselves.


A sign outside a classroom at the downtown campus of Juseong University.

Of course, some of the malapropisms can be quite amusing. I saw one woman's t-shirt that read: "On The Ruins Of This Body." What that meant exactly I do not know, as the body looked to be in good shape to me. Another woman's t-shirt read "If I Wink Him, Will He Stop Walking?" A most curious pick-up line.


A sign in the Tsingtao Brewery in Qingdao, China.

Menus can provide a bit of a laugh. I've seen "Whisky" spelt "Wheshy." "White Wine" comes out as "Whie Wine." These are just ordinary spelling errors that any proof reader could have caught. Other mistakes provide some fairly risqué humour amongst us foreigners. We were at one bar that listed "Cock" under the soft drinks. Mick said that that it should be under "Hard Liquor."

Some Korean retail outlets are named for pop culture references like "Barbie" and "Superman." One bar downtown is called "Swine" for reasons that are not readily apparent. Is the owner describing his food? Or his customers? Another establishment advertised itself as "Fruit Professional Shop." While wondering what "professional" fruit might taste like, I was distracted by the disturbing implications of a store called "Baby Cook And Food."

I love rock and roll. I love rum. This lets me love both at the same time!

A hair salon advertised "Total Hair Collection." Does this mean that the hairdressers are well versed in all the various forms of hair styling that might be requested? Or are they going to take all the hair on your body?

Every once in a while, someone with an English degree will write in to the Korea Herald, decrying the misuse of the language. I for one hope that the laughs just keep on coming.
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In my first year, and for a few years thereafter, me and my friends would scrounge the leftovers that some Koreans would toss out: wardrobes, desks, tables (those little Chusok/Solnal ones), toys, etc. They weren't any less odd than than some of the collections the hagwons provided for us.
Once when we got a cake for a co-teacher, it said "Happy Birthdry."
If you go to Pohang Airport, there is a sign that reads "Welcome to Kyoungju."
What the Kimchi?
I'm sure our readers have many more examples.

What the ... attention?!?!?!

An Anonymous commenter, in reference to my posts and comments about John, said...

"Why pay so much attention to such an obvious troll?"

It is a fair question. The simple answer is boredom. I have too much time on my hands right now and John, much like the KKKleagle over at Korea Sentry are a way to kill some time. It is also easy to push his buttons and get him into batshit mode, which can be entertaining. Actually, much like the KKKluckers, he can go into batshit mode without any pushing of buttons.

Is that a good reason to pay so much attention to him or them? Probably not. But I never claimed to be perfect or not make mistakes. :) In fact I can guarantee you that I will make mistakes and show my ass from time to time. Everyone does. Except John in his world.

I have seen and dealt with John's type on the net since I started going on line. He is a classic example of a Troll and was doing his thing long before he came to my site. And when I get tired of giving him attention he will pout and focus on another site where he gets the attention he craves.

2002 World Cup

Korean Adventure (July 5, 2002 Chautauqua)

World Cup Fever
I have never been a real big soccer fan, but it is hard to ignore over 5 million people in the streets. The Korean people are going mad for their team in this round of the World Cup. Korea is hosting the games, along with Japan, where the final will be played June 30th. Unfortunately, the Korean team lost to the Germans, and will not play for the top spot.


That does not matter too much to their fans, who, in the beginning, would have been content just to see them enter the second round. Korea and Japan were entered into competition because they were the hosts, otherwise they would not have qualified. I remember in my first year here, another teacher was trying to get tickets. He was hoping to get into the Korea-U.S.A. match. He did not hold out much hope for the Korean team to do well.
At that time, they were in disarray and not ranked any more than 40th in the world. They have improved greatly since then, and the credit is given to their Dutch coach, Guus Hiddink. This man is now worshipped in this country. There has been talk of erecting statues to him, and awarding him honourary citizenship.


In World Cup play before this tournament, Korea had yet to post a victory. The greatest success was achieved by a North Korean team, which reached the semi-finals in 1966. During the first round of 2002, Korea won twice, and tied one game (with the U.S.). They were the leaders in their division, and advanced to the next round.
This is when the fan support really took off. There were huge-screen TVs set up in front of city halls and in local parks. Hundreds of thousands of fans gathered to cheer the team on. They chose red as their team colour, which is kind of ironic in an anti-communist country like this one. I have become accustomed to seeing a "sea of red" overflowing the streets of major South Korean cities. The games (edited) have even been replayed in the North.

The scene in front of Seoul City Hall.

Korea's second round opponents were the Portuguese, and most of the Korean people I talked to did not give them much chance. When they won, it unleashed celebrations of the type I have not seen outside of the times a Calgary team has won a national championship, or the times an Edmonton team has won anything.
There were parades of fans down the streets, racing around in cars, flag waving, and constant chants of "Daehan Mingguk!" (Republic of Korea) or "Oh Pilseung Korea!" (Korea Is Sure To Win!). The celebrations have escalated each time Korea has won, building to ever greater heights of joyous expectations that are more than adequately fulfilled.

I really like the way she wears that shirt.

One thing that has not been present is the "hooliganism" that has accompanied most of the celebrations I have heard about. The Koreans have been remarkably restrained in this area. I was in downtown Taegu on June 22nd, after they defeated Spain. There were crowds celebrating everywhere, and they were more than happy to have us join in.

Daegu Stadium.

It has been a real Cinderella story, and the people here are not even too disappointed now that the coach has turned back into a pumpkin. They are just real happy that their team has done so well, coming up from obscurity to challenge and defeat some of the top teams in the world. Their enthusiasm and support of the sport has eclipsed that of Japan somewhat. Whether they win or lose in the third place game, they will never forget the wild ride of 2002.
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The games were replayed endlessly on some Korean sports channels. The part I liked best showed two of the Korean commentaters calling the game in the stands among the audience. When the Koreans scored the game-winning goal, they both broke down crying.
One of my students gave me a 10,000won bill with Hiddink's face superimposed over that of King Sejong. I liked the idea so much I copied my own face onto a bill, made many copies, and used that funny money whenever we played games.

Shit Morons Say ... to Obfuscate.

"Racism and stupidity happen everywhere not just korea. You make it sound like it only happens there."

The above quote was in an email I recently received from a fan. It reminded me of similar comments made both on and off my site.

"Also, you act like this type of attitude in Korea is exclusive to them! "

"But the point is that I’ve had plenty of run-ins with racist people EVERYWHERE."

"It’s amazing that you guys make comments like “this is how retarded some Koreans are” and “this is how rude/fucked up some Koreans are” as if, again, these things are exclusive to Koreans."

Same shit, different morons. (Oh wait, some of those were posted by the same moron.)

It never ceases to amaze me that people who come to a blog about a specific place or region get their panties in a bunch because people are talking about shit that happens there. I do have another blog that talks about stupidity that happens in Canada. Does that mean I am making it sound like idiots, such as the Vancouver rioters, are only found in Canada? Of course not. At least not to those who live in the real world.

This type of "reasoning" is often used by trolls and apologists to cloud an issue. To deflect away from what was being discussed and try to diminish what a person experienced. It is often accompanied by whining that people are talking about all Koreans even when phrases such as "many" or "some" are used and not "all". When the morons use this tactic they are being disingenuous and just trying to push their narrative.

Year 1 - Rainy Season

The latest floods in South Korea and Stig's post about the 2002 flooding he experienced got me thinking about my 1st year in South Korea. It was my first experience with a "Rainy Season" other than spring.

My strongest memory is of when a typhoon hit. Cheongju is far enough inland that we didn't get a lot of the wind but holy humidity batman did we ever get the rain. While the flooding wasn't on the scale we have seen in the news now it was pretty soupy out.

A group of us went out to supper on a Saturday night and did something stupid. It wasn't raining when we left so no one brought umbrellas even though it was pretty dark out. After supper it started raining but we just beat feet to Road King. Then the heavens opened and what seemed like a deluge of biblical proportions started.

From the window seats we got to see a lot of lightning and rain. At times the rain was so heavy you couldn't see across the street. Part of the street, running downhill, looked like a small river. Ok, I am exaggerating, more like a stream. None of us were looking forward to the walk home. Luckily, home was only about a 5 minute walk away.

The rain had lessened but was still coming down pretty hard when we decided to head home. It wasn't a cold rain so we all said fuck it and decided to just enjoy a walk in the rain. It was actually kind of nice once you got over the initial soaking. A nice hot shower once I was home helped too.

I have always loved the sound of rain falling. It something I find kind of relaxing. Nights when it is raining I usually have the best sleep. As a kid I liked to walk in the rain, not always with rain gear on. That night reminded me of it. After that I would sometimes go for a walk in the rain, with or without an umbrella (not in the winter though). Or go to a park and sit under one of the pagodas with a book and just relax listening to the rain. There is a great spot in BalSon Park with a pagoda that over looks the bus terminal and part of the city. A great spot to sit and relax on a rainy or stormy day.