Monday, December 27, 2010

Shit Koreans Say ... about things.

Do you know Dokdo?
Do you know Kimchi?
Do you know TaeKwanDo?
Do you know Kim YuNa?
Do you know (insert something Korean here) ?

I wish I had a dollar for every time a Korean used the phrase when talking about something Korean to a foreigner. You would have almost as much money as you would have if you got a dime every time a Korean said they were cold. It is usually used in a way that is grammatically wrong and just sounds inane.

Do you know Kim YuNa?
No, not personally but I have heard about her.

Do you know kimchi? It is a spicy Korean food.
I have lived in korea for 9 years. Are you a moron?

One of my old students, he is in University now, wrote me a letter and said

You know LG? It's one of the korea's global company.

Bad grammar aside, it is a stupid thing to ask someone who has lived in Korea for 9+ years. Of course I know about LG. You can't live in Korea and not know LG. Actually, we talked about Korean companies in a class he attended. Evidently he doesn't remember that.

It is like they think they are telling you some nugget of information that ONLY a Korean would know but that anyone living in Korea would know. And a lot of times if you didn't know it you wouldn't care.

I remember one incident with Korean Christer's. Two women showed up at my door with their bibles. They spoke no English but figured it would be good to natter on in Korean. I ummm conveyed my non-interest to them and they left. Five to ten minutes later my door bell went again. They were back with a dictionary. The first words out of their mouths was ...

Do you know passover?

Seriously? What the kimchi? And if I said yes what would or could they say in English? Or would they expect me to wait while they translated what they wanted to say word for word? Fucking morons. I replied

Yes. And I know Dokdo and couldn't give a fuck about either.

Then I said bye and shut the door. Korean Christians. Gahhhhh!!!!!!

Koreans seem to abuse "Do you know ... ?" more than any other English phrase.


  1. Ah Christers, they are pretty interesting in Korea, because there are usually a lot of fringe sects that have some pretty interesting beliefs. They say some pretty weird stuff about Jews. I had one guy who was a veterinary student blame the whole Dr. Hwang thing on Jews.

    Another time I was buying ice cream and I yelled at this one guy who wouldn't leave me alone. He came up to me and was like "Do you know god?" I said "Yes," and tried to go about my business, but he kept on bothering me so I told him to leave me the fuck alone.

    Then another time some people knocked on my door, I opened it a little, saw two ladies with bibles, then I slammed the door in their faces. One lady grabbed the handle, so I had to yank the door out of her hand. It's odd how I loose my civility around them.

  2. They do tend to annoy people. A lot.

    One of my students once told me why they are so pushy going door to door. She said their minister's tell them that to be good Christians they must bring new people to the church. That way the church will prosper. If they don't try then they are bad Christians and will go to hell. So they are aggressive trying to convert and bring people in.

  3. It's funny because they are very gung ho but they really only have a rudimentary knowledge about Christianity. But I guess it follows the traditional Korean societal pattern of take someone elses idea make it shittier and then try to reintroduce the idea as an original thought .

  4. I like that and may have to use it ... Take someone leses ideas and make them shittier. :)

  5. Yip yip. I used to live near a church. Got them damn near every day. You try to be civil, and they just don't buy a clue, so you have to be firm.
    And every time you change schools, you have to go through the same "Do you know...?" BS every time. They always seem surprised when you do know. That's what gets me. It's like a foreigner CAN'T know anything until THEY tell tell them.

  6. I always retort with a quick "Do you know pizza or hamburger?" or "Do you know Starbucks?" That usually ends the conversation pretty quick.

    Opening the door in only your underwear with a brusque, angry, "What!?" usually gets rid of the Christens pretty quick, too. Do that a couple of times and they won't be coming back, and may even have the good sense to warn their fellow congregationers .

  7. Stig:

    Sometimes firm doesn't do the job unless you are nasty too. Too often.

  8. David;

    I like that ... both methods. :)Especially if the latter works.

    When Koreans would go one about "You can eat kimchi!" or "You can use chopsticks."I would usually retort back with "You can eat bread." "You can use a fork." using a tone of voice that let them know I thought they were mental.