Friday, December 25, 2009

What the ... Christmas Tree????

As I have said before, I don't read the Korean Times or Herald. A friend told me about a story he read in the Korean Times. It sounds like something you would read on Korea is Best, @koreagov, or Dokdo Is Ours. It sounds like a joke.

Korea's National Institute of Biological Resources (NBIR) has declared that the fir trees we use as Christmas trees in the west are ... KOREAN! They claim that "type specimens" of Korean fir trees were taken out of Korea in 1904 by a European botanist. He donated them to the Smithsonian Institute where they are today.

Now, you are probably wondering why it would matter. Money. NBIR seems to think that they will be able to make money out of this. They want a slice of the profits from the Christmas tree industry in the west. According to a spokesmook for NBIR the tree originated and still grows in Korea, but western companies saw it's value before Koreans and made profits from it. Which they then twist to mean they are owed part of the profits.

What I find funny is that the tradition of the Christmas tree goes back much further than 1904 when the dirty foreign botanist absconded the, then useless now supposedly money making so great and Korean,"type specimens". According to folklore it goes back to the 7th Century or further. Historically, it can be traced back to the 16th Century. There is documented proof of Christmas trees in the 17th century and beyond. Well before the dirty foreigner took the "type specimens".

In Europe there are 8 types of fir, spruce, and pine trees that are commonly used. In the Americas there are 13 types of fir and pine tress that are commonly used. There are a myriad of others trees that are less traditional but sometimes used. All of these trees are the Korean Fir?

So where the hell does the idea that this ONE Korean fir tree is THE Christmas tree? From the kimchi addled brains of NBIR who think they can scam some money out of it.

Well fuck me. Two can play at that game NBIR. Hmmmm ... kimchi addled brains ... Kimchi ... Spicy ... Hot ... Hot pepper ... Gochuguang ...Gochu. Hey! Let's look at that staple of the Korean diet the Gochu or hot pepper. Is it REALLY Korean? They have made money off of the peppers and products made from it in Korea haven't they?

Oh dear. It seems as though the pepper originated in the Americas and NOT Korea. People have been eating them there since 7500BC. There is evidence that it was domesticated over 6000 years ago in what is now Ecuador! Why that is LONGER than Korea has a history! The history of the hot pepper is longer than Korea's history! Oh my!

Once again dirty foreigners STOLE the peppers and brought them to Europe in the 1400's. The Spanish introduced it to Japan in the 16th Century and it made its way from there to Korea in the 1700's.

So, using the errr umm dare I say "logic" of NBIR Korea owes money to the America's for the centuries of use of the pepper. See, revenge isn't a dish best served cold. It is best served in all of it's spicy goodness.

Now stick a gochu up your ass NBIR and see if it turns into a fir tree. What a bunch of fucktards.


  1. Haha, awesome post. I love the rage. Koreans are indeed fucktards who love to claim the rest of the world owes them a debt.

  2. Thanks. I still find it hard to believe thay are THAT ricetarded. But the proof is there to show they are.

  3. Ricetarded entitlement issues.

  4. Who knows there might be some truth to this. Korea has such a long history. Korea is the only nation to have four distinct seasons. Korea invented civilization (Ref: Korea is best). Why can't the whole world use Korean trees?

    I think we are jealous because we are not Koreans.

    I sincerely hope Korea fights for 'recovery of rights' at the convention on Biological Diversity next year. It is about time Korea publishes this article in every major newspaper of the world.

  5. Ajay

    Heh. I never thought of it that way. :)

    BUT the holy hot pepper has a longer history than Korea. We should aspire to be like the holy hot pepper. :)

  6. This shouldn't bother anyone. I highly doubt this is making news at any respected news organization in the United States.

  7. Anonymous

    Who would have thought the Korean "scandal" about short men being called losers and the Korean obsession over height would make it into a major U.S. newspaper? But it made it into the NY Times. AND Scotland on Sunday!

    It only bothers me because it is just another example of Korean ignorance and arrogance.

  8. Flint:

    You must remember "the Korean is the most perfect creature ever to sanctify the earth with the imprint of his foot..."

  9. Heh ... there is that Mike. :)

  10. Regarding the Biological Diversity convention: I hope the rest of the scientists across the world LAUGH at this idea... There's a reason the 'respectable' press hasn't picked this up... It's simply not news. Not. News.

  11. Very true Chris. Hopefully it goes that way.