RCMP Criminal Background Check

A reader emailed me about his travails getting an RCMP Criminal Background Check, including the vulnerable sector search. He was told "something" showed up in the search and he would have to submit fingerprints to clear it. "Something", according to the RCMP, could have been a similar name or even birthday to an offender.

So, he submitted his prints 2+ months ago. This week he was called to come in. They had his CBC but now, after all the BS and waiting he went through, the RCMP does NOT do the Vulnerable Sector Search if you are getting it for a job OUTSIDE of Canada, even if you are working for a Canadian company abroad. He wasn't told why or when this decision was made, just that it is the new policy.

They gave him a photocopy of some handout which was meant to answer any questions. Why did he have to submit fingerprints when they were going to do the VSS?

"As a result of the enhancement, a Vulnerable Sector Search now requires the submission of fingerprints whenever the gender and date of birth of an applicant match to an existing pardoned sex offender record. This is not an accusation of criminality, but a requirement for a thorough verification to confirm identity and protect personal privacy. In addition to verifying an individual's association with a criminal offence ( including pardoned sex offences) fingerprints are also submitted to CCRTIS for the purpose of certifying an individual does not have criminal record information that can be disclosed in accordance with federal laws."

So if you are a man and have the same birthdate as a sex offender who was pardoned YOU are automatically flagged to be checked. I am all for a deep check, and would have no qualms about submitting to it since I know the fingerprints would clear me, but it just seems a tad anal. You are suspicious because of your gender and birthdate?

If not explained properly to people, and at the cop shop it wasn't explained properly to my reader, it can lead to a lot of headaches for the person. He was thinking his name was flagged for doing something wrong at first and couldn't understand what the hell was going on.

It seems to me that just saying we now do a fingerprint check in all cases would have been a better way to go. Since that is pretty much what they have ended up doing.

And why the hell not do the Vulnerable Sector Search if they are going to work outside of Canada? Wouldn't it be better to make sure they aren't on it before letting them go work with kids or disabled abroad?!?!?

I would be PISSED to no end if I waited almost 3 months for my CBC with VSS to be told in the end that I waited, got fingerprinted, and paid out money to be given just a basic CBC and told I can't get the VSS.

Shit Korean's Say ... about the seasons.

"Did you know that Korea has four distinctive seasons?"

Since it is "the Season" I figured it would be a good time to address the shit Korean's say about the four seasons.

Korean's, old or young, sometimes seem obsessed with the fact their country has four seasons. They seem to think that they are the ONLY country that has four seasons.You will get the strangest looks when you tell them that your country also has four seasons. It is as if they can't believe other countries have them as well.

If you really want to give them a headache tell them that countries like Australia have a winter. They just can't wrap their mind around that one.

They will prattle one about Korea's four distinctive seasons in the most insane places. Writing a book or handout about Muslim food in Korea? Then you just have to bring up Korea's four distinctive seasons. Don't you?

When you add the fact that an older Korean told them Korea has four distinctive seasons and no one else does you get a further problem. If they were told it by a Korean it must be true and any foreigner who says otherwise is wrong. (And I have had Korean adults use similar "logic".)

I had students get irate when I said there were 7 continents. Their KOREAN teacher in school told them there were 6. In the end their only justification for me being wrong is that a Korean told them there were 6. It didn't matter how much evidence you showed them to the contrary, and after the Mad Cow bullshit we all know what Koreans think of things like scientific evidence. The Korean teacher said there were 6 continents so there are 6. So they refused to believe their are 7. This kind of mentality just makes it harder for them to believe that countries other than Korea have 4 distinctive seasons. It also kind of makes them look like morons.

Sorry to burst your bubble Korea but MANY countries have four distinctive seasons.

Season's Beatings

Well, turnabout is fair play.
The Korean Times (The Worst In The Nation) printed a cartoon depicting a US Predator Drone, decked out for Christmas, killing an Arab child.
Flint and I have our response:

Shit Koreans Say ... about things.

Do you know Dokdo?

Do you know Kimchi?

Do you know TaeKwanDo?

Do you know Kim YuNa?

Do you know (insert something Korean here) ?

I wish I had a dollar for every time a Korean used the phrase when talking about something Korean to a foreigner. You would have almost as much money as you would have if you got a dime every time a Korean said they were cold. It is usually used in a way that is grammatically wrong and just sounds inane.

Do you know Kim YuNa?

No, not personally but I have heard about her.

Do you know kimchi? It is a spicy Korean food.

I have lived in korea for 9 years. Are you a moron?

One of my old students, he is in University now, wrote me a letter and said

You know LG? It's one of the korea's global company.

Bad grammar aside, it is a stupid thing to ask someone who has lived in Korea for 9+ years. Of course I know about LG. You can't live in Korea and not know LG. Actually, we talked about Korean companies in a class he attended. Evidently he doesn't remember that.

It is like they think they are telling you some nugget of information that ONLY a Korean would know but that anyone living in Korea would know. And a lot of times if you didn't know it you wouldn't care.

I remember one incident with Korean Christer's. Two women showed up at my door with their bibles. They spoke no English but figured it would be good to natter on in Korean. I ummm conveyed my non-interest to them and they left. Five to ten minutes later my door bell went again. They were back with a dictionary. The first words out of their mouths was ...

Do you know passover?

Seriously? What the kimchi? And if I said yes what would or could they say in English? Or would they expect me to wait while they translated what they wanted to say word for word? Fucking morons. I replied

Yes. And I know Dokdo and couldn't give a fuck about either.

Then I said bye and shut the door. Korean Christians. Gahhhhh!!!!!!

Koreans seem to abuse "Do you know ... ?" more than any other English phrase.

Japanese Korean players choose ... Japan.

One of the latest bugaboos of the Kimchi Kamikaze Kommandoes is that ethnic Koreans in Japan are deciding to declare themselves as Japanese and play for the Japanese National teams in sport like soccer.

The KKKunts have their panties in a bunch over this. One in particular, Indicunt errr Indicut, asked if they were not traitors. (He seems to be the type of person who would declare someone from Australia who does something against American interests a traitor to America.)

So someone declaring their nationality, when they have a choice of two, is a traitor if they don't choose South Korea? Wow. How many traitors are running around in the US or Canada by that standard?

They tried to be "Korean" by South Korean standards, were treated like shit and outsiders, so they decided to declare themselves Japanese. Which was their CHOICE. And according to the KKKunts they are traitors. How dare they not accept being treated like shit and say they are Korean even though Korea doesn't want them.

Of course, when biracial Koreans do well South Koreans are quick to declare them to be "Korean." Look at what the bulls shit Hines Ward's mother went through which made her leave South Korea. She was treated like crap by her family and they were spat at because his father was African-American. Now that he is famous he is wanted.

Once Ward was the Superbowl MVP he was all of a sudden accepted and wanted in Korea. Even Roh MooHyun had to meet with him and acknowledge what a great Korean Hines now was. Not a superstar of some sort and "half Korean" you are scum. become a superstar and all of a sudeen you are Korean and loved.

They had a choice, to declare as South Korean or Japanese. They were treated like shit by South Koreans and choose Japan. Which means they are Japanese. Hard to be a traitor to South Korea when they are Japanese.

Yes, KKKunts, those guys are horrible traitors for choosing their "Japanese" side over their "Korean" side after they were treated like shit by Koreans and not by the Japanese. (Wish I could do an eye roll there.) You stupid fucking mooks. You wonder wonder why they would choose Japan over Korea? Fucking assholes like you! You wonder why people think Koreans are racist? Fucking assholes like you. You wonder why Hines Ward's mothers left Korea with him and still feels animosity to Korea? Fucking assholes like you.

So keep up the bad work and keep giving South Korea and Koreans a bad name.

The Krazy Kimchi Kommandos

A Song Parody By Flint And Stig

(to the tune of Trooper's "The Boys In The Bright White Sports Car")

Here they come,
The Krazy Kimchi Kommandos.
Raging at foreigners.
"Who the fuck do they think they are?"
"Why the fuck did they come this far?"

There they go,
The Krazy Kimchi Kommandos.
Printing all their lies.
It's Kang Shin-who the ass,
And Herr Konsoleman, full of gas.

Ladadada, Ladadada-da.
Ladadada, Ladadada-da.

There they go.
Those dolts are barely thinkin'.
'Cause if they gave it a single thought,
They'd realize they've been drinkin', too much soju!

There they go,
The Krazy Kimchi Kommandos.
Some ajumma called the KKKKops,
Said her virginity had been stolen, stolen!

There they go,
The Krazy Kimchi kommandos,
Raging at foreigners,
"Who the fuck do they think they are?"
"Why the fuck did they come this far?"

Ladadada, Ladadada-da.
Ladadada, Ladadada-da.

What the ... UFO Fanatic?!?!?

Bwahahahahaha .... the Terrible err Korea Times has an article about UFO Fantics!!!! The Korea Times, which has stolen errr reposted stories without proper attribution from many papers around the world about UFO's talking about fanatics? What would one call a paper/editor who seems so obsessed with reprinting, without proper attribution, so many stories about UFO's? (And this one, like some of the others, was the NUMBER TWO headline in the "Korean" paper even though it had nothing to do with Korea.) UFO fanatics? :)

What the ... freak?!?!?

You know, I could pull up a lot of posts made by Herr Consoleman that show him to be an extreme racist piece of shit. However, all that needs to be shown is his latest comment in a thread at the Kamikaze Kimchi Kommando site.

One of the KKKunts reposted an article about a German father castrating his daughters boyfriend with a bread knife. Regardless of the reasons for the father's actions, Herr conesoleman's reponse was to post;

"Dame that was hardcore... anyway it's good that that German freak was castrated, I wish they do that to these old esl who's banging young Korean girls."

But hey, he doesn't think he is a racist or an extremist. Mind you he also thinks his English is good. Speaking of freaks Herr Consoleman what is your signature? Oh yeah;

"Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone"

Watch out for the stones asshole.

Interesting TIMES's article.

A tip of the Santa Hat to Brian for posting a TIME article. (TIME magazine not the piece of shit we know as the Korea Times which is part of the problem.) It seems that the issue of ONLY testing E2- VISA holders for HIV in South Korea has reached TIME magazine. As has the bile the Anti-English Spectrum assholes perpetuate.

There are a few things in the TIME article I have trouble with.

More than a century later, South Korea, a thriving nation of 50 million, is coming to terms with a different sort of outsider: foreign English teachers.

I don't see them coming to grips with it yet. If you look at the government policies and media bullshit the anti-foreigner sentiment is being encouraged and perpetuated rather than seeing Koreans coming to terms with it in a rational manner.

"Lee, of course, doesn't speak for all — or even most — Koreans."

Actually, I found he does speak for a lot of Koreans. Thanks to the anti-foreigner shit spread by the Korean media it has heightened their natural xenophobia when it comes to foreigners. This was picked up by the government as well as some companies who also pander to it and give it legitimacy.

But every few years, a fresh wave of anti-foreign teacher sentiment shines a light on the nation's lingering xenophobia.

Except it hasn't been every few years. It has been pretty constant the last few years. The HIV test wasn't introduced this year nor is the controversy over it new. What is new is that the Korean government has basically admitted to how much bullshit it really is, and that they don't see foreigners as a real threat. They are just pandering to the xenophobic bullshit.

"We've decided to ease the rules as HIV is not transmitted through air or water but through human contact most of the time," a health official official told the press last month. Another official from the Ministry of Education also waffled on the reasons for keeping the teacher tests: Mandatory HIV/AIDS testing for foreign English teachers "does not mean the government regards foreign teachers to be HIV positive or have the potential of transmission," he said. "It is just intended to assure the parents."

We know you aren't a threat but because Koreans are so bigoted when it comes to foreigners we are going to treat you like you are one. Unless you marry a Korean, in that case you aren't a threat. Like I said ... not rational.

Overall it was an interesting article and it is nice to see some of the bullshit foreigners deal with in Korea being discussed in the western media.

Christmas 2009

I was looking through some pictures from Christmas last year and came across Santa Klaus.

Stig and I had a great Christmas dinner at the rib place and were enjoying scotch and a Churchill on the benches across the street. The bar had someone dressed up as Santa. One of the friendliest Koreans I have ever met. He was handing out candy to kids, and women, passing by. His English wasn't that great but he got by.

It turns out he was the manager of the bar. The owner ended up coming up out. (I may have it backwards ... manager came out and owner in costumes. A little help Stig!) His English was great. We talked with them a bit and extended Christmas greetings.

It made for a nice interlude in a great evening.

Christmas Memories

One of the best Christmas' I had in Korea was in my 5th year. Dinner with friends at Riccone. Great food and company. Then we went to Albatross for scotch and cigars. We wound the night up at Road King with more friends and drinking.

The atmosphere at all places was good. Christmas music at Road King ... not like in later years when it was some type of screaming music that just didn't fit a Christmas Eve.

Good times.

I always enjoyed Christmas at my hagwon the last 4 years or so. We would always do some kind of Christmas activities with kids and watch a Christmas Movie. I bought Jim Carey's version of the Grinch with Korean subtitles so we could show it to the students. I would always have the Santa hat and beard, no suit though unfortunately.

Good times.

I find I miss some of that right now. Mind you it is very nice to be with family for a change. It has been 5 years since I was home for Christmas and it feels good.

I hope you and yours have a Merry Christmas and a great New Year.

To the mooks ... may you get your Season's Beatings. :)

The lesser of two evils?

What is worse ... a person who complains about where they are (like Korea) or a person that complains about people who complain about where they are (Korea)?

I find the latter can be divided into two categories. Those who have had something bad happen and need to vent and those who just like to complain. You can usually tell the two apart because the person who just likes to complain will never find anything good to say about the place.

I find the people who complain about the complainers can also be divided into two categories. The kind of person who has been subjected to too much venting and is doing some venting of their own and those who tend to ignore anything bad and act as if the place they are in is perfect. The first type I can understand, the second is usually trying to ignore reality, often they are apologists. When someone is running into the bad on a daily basis it can also get to you and may make you vent too much.

I find the people who complain about complainers can be worse than the initial complainers. I understand needing to vent. It is good for a person to vent. Those who never see the good, or refuse to see it, do irk me at times. Refusing to acknowledge the good is just as bad as the idiots who refuse to acknowledge the bad.

Hilda tended to fall into the complaining about complainers while refusing to acknowledge the bad. I remember once some of us were having a discussion about the Cheongju-Cheonan Rapist and how the English media in Korea never reported it. Hilda had a little diatribe about us only focusing on the bad, she knew about it a few years ago because a Korean co-worker told her (so there complainers), so why not talk about good news. Someone greased her out a bit because a) it is a subject we chose to discuss and was important, b) it was so nice that SHE knew and never told anyone, and c) why the hell chime in if you really have nothing to add. That ended that.

Of course it was always a different story when something happened to Hilda and she needed to vent.

Ah, people. They always find a way to drive others crazy. :)

Shit Koreans Say ... about cold weather.

"Cho ah! Cho ah! Cho ah!"

Writing it just doesn't do justice to the whiney sound many Koreans make when saying this. What are they saying? They are letting everyone know they are cold. Why are they cold? Odds are they didn't dress for the weather.

It is nothing during the coldest part of the winter to see Korean women going around in mini skirts, or men wearing just a blazer. One of the strangest sights I saw was a Korean woman with a big puffy parka, furry boots, and a micro mini skirt with no hose/leggings. And surprise surprise she was going on and on about being cold. They say it like it is some mantra that will magically keep them warm.

Now if they were dressed for the weather and still cold I could understand the whining to a degree. But when they consciously dress improperly they need to shut the fuck up, go home, and get the proper clothes.

One of the most bizarre sights I saw many times when walking home in the winter was middle school kids wrapped up in blankets. Their parents send them to schools, many of which aren't heated, in their school uniform and NO winter jacket. Often they wear the bathroom sandals and not proper foot wear even in the winter. So, they bring a blanket to wrap up in to keep warm.

"Teacher cold."

"You are cold."

You hear things like that from students of all ages. Instead of saying they are cold they tell me that I am cold. To which I reply "No. I'm warm." This of course perplexes them and they usually just repeat their initial comment a few times thinking it will magically mean what they want it to. I give them a little time to self correct and then tell them that they wanted to say "Teacher, I am cold." and explain why what they said was wrong. Then they smile and say "Teacher, I am cold." to which 9 times out of 10 I reply "I'm not." and continue the original lesson.

When the classes are too hot you actually get the opposite comments. The students are hot and want a window open or the air conditioner on. They are wearing their winter jackets (my students never brought a blanket to class), which are zipped up tight, and absolutely refuse to take off their jacket or even open it up. They will sit there soaking in their own sweat, and stinking up the room rather than take their jacket off. Why? Because it is winter and you should wear your jacket, and no one else has theirs off and they don't want to be the odd man out. One of the problems of living in a conformist society, conforming can lead you to be uncomfortable and you won't get comfortable because you must conform.

"You are cold. Go home."

Ah mooks. They do make life interesting. It isn't bad enough you have slack jawed yokels pointing, staring, and telling you that you are cold. Sometimes you run into an uber-mook who will shout some stupid statement at you and run away.

Apologists

Here is a link to a funny little video using what Korean apologists often post on message boards.

Shit Koreans Say ... about education.

"If you sleep more than 4 hours a day you are a lazy student."

I was talking about studying with one of my middle school classes. The topic turned to how much time they spend studying a day. That is when one of my students told me that a teacher told him he was a lazy student because he got 6 hours sleep a night. The rest of the class said they have all heard it from teachers as well.

It is a good way of summing up just how crazy things are in Korea when it comes to studying. No wonder they have the highest teen suicide rate in the OECD.

Twelve Days Of Korean Christmas II

Another Flint & Stig Production

(To the tune of "Twelve Days Of Christmas")

On the first day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
A contract not worth anything.

On the second day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything.

On the third day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Three kimchi farts,
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Four cab-blocked crosswalks,
Three kimchi farts,
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Five air raid sirens,
Four cab-blocked crosswalks,
Three kimchi farts,
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Six Spam and soap packs,
Five air raid sirens,
Four cab-blocked crosswalks,
Three kimchi farts,
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Seven sullen schoolboys,
Six Spam and soap packs,
Five air raid sirens,
Four cab-blocked crosswalks,
Three kimchi farts,
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Eight ajummas squatting,
Seven sullen schoolboys,
Six Spam and soap packs,
Five air raid sirens,
Four cab-blocked crosswalks,
Three kimchi farts,
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Nine mad cow beefsteaks,
Eight ajummas squatting,
Seven sullen schoolboys,
Six Spam and soap packs,
Five air raid sirens,
Four cab-blocked crosswalks,
Three kimchi farts,
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Ten mooks a-texting (shebal)
Nine mad cow beefsteaks,
Eight ajummas squatting,
Seven sullen schoolboys,
Six Spam and soap packs,
Five air raid sirens,
Four cab-blocked crosswalks,
Three kimchi farts,
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Eleven reporters plagiarizing,
Ten mooks a-texting (shebal)
Nine mad cow beefsteaks,
Eight ajummas squatting,
Seven sullen schoolboys,
Six Spam and soap packs,
Five air raid sirens,
Four cab-blocked crosswalks,
Three kimchi farts,
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
A Korean gave to me
Twelve North Korean A-bombs,
Eleven reporters plagiarizing,
Ten mooks a-texting (shebal)
Nine mad cow beefsteaks,
Eight ajummas squatting,
Seven sullen schoolboys,
Six Spam and soap packs,
Five air raid sirens,
Four cab-blocked crosswalks,
Three kimchi farts,
Two slutty outfits,
And a contract not worth anything!

Oh Christmas Tree

I wonder if the Korea Times will try and push the claim that the Christmas Tree is Korean again this year.

The (Korean) National Institute of Biological Resources did threaten to "recover" their rights to the Christmas tree this year. The right being the right to scam money out of their claim. That seemed to be their big bugaboo last year ... they wanted their share of the Christmas Tree pie.

No follow up on that crusade yet. I wonder if the Korea Times will have a follow this Christmas Eve?

Kindergarten Festivals

Every year Ivy School held a Kindergarten Festival. It was supposed to showcase the English ability of the kindergarten students and how they had advanced. Yet it somehow never managed to do that.

Why? Half or more of the festival was done in Korean by the kids. It is nice and cute to see them in their little hanboks singing "Appa Himniseyo" but that ain't English. Nor did it showcase things they were being taught. Instead, for about 2 months prior to the festival, classes were focused on learning the songs and or skit they were doing for the festival.

The goal of the festival, like an "education" at most hagwons, wasn't about learning. It was about making the parents BELIEVE their child learned something. Yes, your child can sing a song they cram studied for 2 months in English now. Too bad they STILL can't answer the question "What day is it today?" after a year. The Kim's (Ivy School not the generic term) didn't care about the learning just the money flowing into their bank account.

Then you had the foreign teachers and the festivals. For the most part your job was to help set up, prep the kids (costume changes), and take things down. At one point you were on the stage being introduced with the Korean teachers. Of course this all took place on a Saturday, which your contract (which doesn't count for anything) said you didn't work, and the Kim's would try and weasel out of paying you overtime let alone basic time for the hours you gave up.

One year the Kim's decided that the foreign teachers wanted to do a song on stage. Yes, they decided we wanted too. Not us. They also decided to tell us 2 days before the festival. Which left basically no rehearsal time.

We picked "California Dreaming". With six people we figured it was an easy one to muddle your way through. It would have been too except for the ricetards working the sound system at the festival. They decided that the song was too fast and used the mixing board to slow it down. Oh, and in typical Korean fashion they never told anyone they were doing that. It threw everyone off. The song was horrible. The parents thought they would help out and clapped through the whole song. unfortunately they didn't clap in TIME to the song. They clapped at whatever speed suited their kimchi addled brains.

It was a horrible waste of time and looked bad. Thanks to that the Kim's never again "asked" the foreign teachers to perform on stage.

What's your beef?

A Flint and Stig Production ... What's Your Beef?

Shit Koreans Say ... about Dokdo.

"Do you know Dokdo?"

How many times, and in how many ways have you heard Koreans go on about Dokdo? They seem to think that the world must not just know about them but must fanatically agree that they are Korean. Whether I believe the Korean claims or not, it does make them sound like a bunch of whack jobs the way they go on at times.

One of the best examples is a song about Dokdo I found on YouTube. Some of the things it says are ...

"Everybody wants to be there 'cause of the holy Sights

Everybody wants to be there hoping to meet Seagulls."

"Foolish men start to say silly empty talks."

"Yes, nobody is greedy for them 'cause of the holy Sights."

"Dokdo Dokdo I'll keep it for my sake."

I could go on and on. The song is pretty much crap with a lot of nonsensical English.

The Liancourt Rocks, errr Dokdo, is another one of those topics that you just can't talk about logically with Koreans. Nutizens have stalked and harassed people who said they believed the rocks belong to Japan. I remember hearing about one foreigner working at a University who made a web page looking at the issue and saying he believed Japan's claim. The nutizens tracked him down, posted his personal information, and started calling his university complaining. While he wasn't fired ... for "some reason" he wasn't re-hired.

A group of protesters wanted to show the world how evil Japan is to claim the rocks. So, in front of invited media, they bludgeoned pheasants to death, slurped up some of their innards, and threw the carcasses at the Japanese Embassy. This showed that who was evil?!?!?!?

So, if you are in Korea and are asked about Dokdo it is safer to just blindly agree that it is Korean than to actually try and discuss the issue. Unless you want a confrontation that you just can't win with reason.

"Do you know Dokdo?"

"Yes, and I don't really give a shit. I call them the Liancourt Rocks. Now fuck off."

A lot of countries have disputes over places but I know of none who go to the lengths Koreans do over them. At times shooting themselves in the foot in their drive to prove they are in the right.