Friday, January 29, 2010

What the .... Christer!?!?!?

I just got back from work and was in the process of locking up my scooter when I hear "waegukin." being bandied about behind me. When I straightened up there were two Koreans. A woman and man both well dressed. You know what my first thought was. Hell the title of this gives it away. Christians. Even worse, Korean Christians.

First thing the woman said (the man hung back a few meters) was "Where are you from?" Her English was good. I reluctantly said "Canada." This caused her to gush on about Canada for a minute or so. Turns out she had been to Canada.

I was waiting for her to drop one of two bombs. The religion bomb or the "Do you know so and so from Canada?" bomb. Both are annoying. Instead she said "Are you busy?" Am I busy, hmmm. Just got home from work. Hungry, would like to make something to snack on. And I don't want to talk religion. "Yes, I am kind of busy."

Of course the proper response to that is to say "My name is HyunHee." My mother would not have liked my response. I knew where this was heading. All signs were there. I replied "Hi." And started to turn towards the safety of my apartment building. She immediately answered with "What's your name?"

I sighed and said "This is going to be about religion isn't it?" The guy might have understood some of what I said because he got a guilty look on his face and turned his head away. He had a bible in his right hand and tried moving it to his side away from me. HyunHee blinked and looked like a deer in the headlights. So, I repeated myself, which I hate doing and said "Religion. This is going to end up being about religion right?"

She nodded her head. I said politely but firmly "I am not interested in talking about religion, meeting about religion, or anything to do with religion. ok?"

Then she blurts out "I need your help with a presentation." Now I was starting to get pissed off. She was making me repeat myself and not taking no for an answer. So I said "Listen, I am not interested in religion. I have been bothered by too many Christians in this area. I try to be polite but when people don't take no for an answer I stop being polite. Understand?"

She nodded her head and said "Yes but you can help me."

I was exasperated. It was getting hard but I actually was keeping my temper in check. Best not to start the weekend by blowing up at someone. Then I decided to take another tack. "Sorry, I can only help you through my school. Immigration is very strict."

She gave me a dumbfounded look and said "They are?" To which I replied "Oh yes. I can be deported for teaching or doing things like that outside of my school."

Her reply was "But you can help me."

At this point I had enough. I said "I have tried being polite. I have told you no many times. Do you know what fuck off means?"

She had a shocked look on her face and said "Yes."

"Good. Then take your boyfriend and your bibles and Fuck Off! This is why I can't stand Korean Christians. I have been polite and said no to you several times. Yet you still go on. Fuck Off already."

I almost threw in the "C" word but decided it wasn't warranted. Yet.

This seemed to get things through to her. Or so I stupidly thought. As I turned to go into my building she said "But ... my church."

All I could do was flip her the bird and say "What a fucking stupid C***." Then it was just a matter of opening the electronic look and entering the sanctity of my building. Knowing they can't get in.

I can be brusque but I am not usually deliberately rude with people. I actually believe in practicing common courtesy. However, I have had this scenario happen too often in Korea and I know what to expect. Nor do I like throwing the C-bomb around in public. Sure when nattering with friends but not like that. It is just that even when they have good English nothing gets through to these fucking religious whack jobs.

Oh well. Now I can relax and plan the evening festivities. Friday night. Woo hoo!!!!

6 comments:

  1. Ah! The good old missionaries. At times it gets tiring. Guess what? Sometimes they even send their cute little kids. Once I had a six-seven year old very tidily dressed super-cute girl come upto me with her mother to give a brochure of a certain church. The girl said "Please come". Then her mother, again a fine and young looking woman, ranted about happiness and sufferings.

    Sad that she used her daughter to garner attention.

    Flint, how about a fervid nationalist ajusshi (or ajumma) who wants to convert you into a regularly church going Christian for a meet-up on weekends? Are you interested? I can hook you up with one.

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  2. You are evilllll Ajay. Evillll. :)

    It is horrible when they use their kids like that.

    My mother rarely ever swears. I can count the number of times I have heard it on one hand. When she talks about the JoHos and Christmas you can see she wants to.

    I heard the story from mom because I was probably only a year old then. Christmas Day in Montreal. Someone rings the doorbell and mom answers. It is a JoHo couple dragging their kids around going door to door on CHRISTMAS Day. My mother will never tell me what she said, just that it was very foul. She berated the parents for what they were doing. They were smart and left before dad got to the door to find out why mom was yelling. He had a BAD temper back then.

    Fine you don't celebrate Christmas. Don't dragging your kids around and ruin it for other people.

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  3. This reminds me the other day when I was at Lotte Mart scouting for cheap gin and tonic water. A girl and her mother began to talk to me about alcohols, and quickly diverted to religion.

    I explained her that I was French, and that in my country, anything other than Roman Catholism, Lutherian Protestantism, Islam, Jewism or Buddhism was considered as a dangerous sect, and that it'd be a major sin for me to listen to the words of her devil.

    She turned red mad and got the fuck away.

    Try, it works well.

    I also had a couple knocking at my door, one night. I was drinking, and my wife was taking a nap. I had some time to kill, it was freezing cold outside, so I put a heavy coat, got out and drank like a fish, laughing at them trying to preach to me in english. They survived 2 minutes and got the fuck out.

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  4. Heh. I will have to try the sin one. :) They can't get to my door anymore because of the buildings electronic lock. :)

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  5. Oh great creeping jesus... I hate Korean Christians. They don't know when to back off. Seriously. Try speaking French.

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  6. Je parle un petit peux Francais. :) But I think I will try the sin one if their English as as good next time. :)

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