Monday, July 18, 2011

I Hate Rectangles

Styles come and go. In the Eighties, glasses used to be huge. There was enough extra lens for at least another pair. And then, in the nineties, glasses got smaller. They became these little rectangles that reminded me of the pair that Roger McGuinn of The Byrds used to wear.

I bought that style, and wore it for about 10 - 15 years.
When I became a public school teacher in Daegu, the teacher at the school closest to mine had pretty much the same pair. We also shared the same goatee, but there was not too much else that we shared. He was taller, thinner, and had more hair.
Let's call him Ass, because let's face it, he was one.
Halfway through the school year, the department in charge of the foreign teachers in Daegu, the DEIEIO, took us all to Angang for the day. Ass didn't make the trip. Somebody had to sit it out, and he drew the short straw. It was a great trip and we all had a terrific time.
When I was getting off the bus at the end of the day, the (Korean) head of the DEIEIO said to me, "Goodbye, Ass!"
At first, I thought, "Do we really all look alike to you?"
He was properly apologetic when I gently pointed out that he had mistaken me for another babo waygookin, and we all went back to working harmoniously together until they fired me for trying to kill a Korean English teacher.
Before my year there was over, I decided to change my looks. Not because I would have to go on the run, but I had been brooding after that Angang trip, and I decided I didn't want to look like an ass.
So I shaved off my goatee and went glasses shopping. There is an underground mall in downtown Daegu where there is a huge section chock-a-block with Ankyong (glasses) Marts.

I decided to go for some circles, not because I was a fan of Harry Potter, but because I was a fan of John Lennon. I even brought along a picture of him wearing his iconic "granny" glasses, just in case the clerk didn;t understand my lousy Korean.

I showed him my prescription, requested my style, and it seemed like no time before I was walking out with my new specs. They cost me, frames and all, only 50,000 won.
Affordable eyewear is one of the things I loved about Korea.
I continue to wear my circles, but I notice that I haven't started a trend. Everybody else is still wearing those fucking rectangles, and I'm really starting to get irritated. Did you ever look at somebody wearing them and want to rip them off and stomp them into the mud? Tune into Global Calgary's evening news program and take a look at the male anchor, Gord Gillies. A more squint-eyed ferret-faced little git does not exist. And those fucking rectangles! Does he really think he looks good?

I snort in disgust and roll my eyes.
Well, until the rest of the world catches up to me, I guess I will have to go my solitary way. So far ahead of my time, I'm starting to catch up with it again.


  1. You had a goatee? :)

    Hopefully the rest of the world catches up with you. I am not a big fan of the small circle glasses, except for my pair of dirty dogs, so I don't know if I will join your trend. ;)

  2. That got me thinking of the last time I bought glasses in Korea. Had a quick glance, not a good one, at the price. Thought it said 600,000 Won. Told the guy it was pricey that I expected 300,000 Won. He was kind enough not to laugh at my stupidity and told me it was 60,000 not 600,000. :)

  3. I wear circles- have for fifteen years- and I'm pretty hot. I get slammed for wearing them by rectangle wearers. I hate the rectangles. Biggest era identifier.