Sunday, November 21, 2010

Shit Koreans Do... At The Theatre

I was at the movies today. I went to see the new "Harry Potter" film. I quite enjoy the books and the movies. I wasn't aware of Harry Potter until I went to Korea in 2000. I started to see stories on the news about kids lined up to buy each new book as it came out, and dismissed it as something that I was too old for.
But during my first year in Korea, I became desperate for things to read. I picked up the first Potter book and I never looked back.
Watching the latest film, I became aware of a family of mooks sitting behind me. The little girl asked questions about what was happening every five minutes, which her mom did her best to answer. Neither one of her parents asked her to be quiet, and her persistent whispering went on and on. The dad was not impressed with the film at all, and complained loudly as soon as the end credits started to roll. Things like "garbage" and "waste of time" and so on. The little girl seemed like she enjoyed the films; I wondered what she thought of what her dad had to say.
The rest of the audience was pretty well behaved. There weren't any other talkers and nobody fiddled with their cell phones at all. There were a couple of times when some kids left to go to the bathroom, but they returned to their seats with little hullabaloo.
How different from a Korean movie theatre!
The amount of mookish behaviour that goes in there has to be seen to be believed. People coming in late, people going in and out all through the film, kids running up and down the aisles, people talking, people talking/texting on their cell phones - it was no wonder Flint and I went to fewer and fewer films as time went by.
Once, when we went to see "Miami Vice," it was like we were surrounded by mooks who came to the movie expressly to talk to their friends on the phone. Silly Flint and I had actually come to see the film, and nothing else.
I was sitting next to a woman who just would not leave her phone alone. I finally leaned over and started yakking in her ear, "Who is it? Is is for me? If it's for me, I'll talk."
She shut the phone off, but she was not happy. Her big plan to get back at me was to wait until I took a swig from my drink, and then fill the cup holder on the armrest between us with her own bottle of water.
I chucked it on the floor.
She started chattering away at me, and I said something like, "I'm trying to watch the film!" I kept expecting her boyfriend to do something about me. What I didn't realize was that he had made a motion to put me in my place, but Flint had loomed up behind me. The boyfriend scuttled back into his seat like a turtle retreating into his shell.
There's nothing so frightening as Flint when he looms... or smiles.
Well, that was the "high point" of our theatre-going experience in the Land of Morning Calm and Afternoon Difficulty.
After Flint left Korea, I did go to a couple of movies with our mutual friend Spock, and whenever the usual mookish behaviour began, I took to throwing popcorn at the offending mook.
The look on their faces... still convulses me with howls of derisive laughter!


  1. You should be able to beat assholes that use their phone in any way at a movie.

    There was also the mook behind us who answered his phone 3-4 times at Miami Vice. The mooks texting around us. Whenever a class was about rudeness I used that movie experience as an example.

  2. 2 out of 4 times I went commercial cinemas (as opposed to museum ones) in Korea some ignorant bint would sit down next to me and start nyuck-nyanging on KFC. I just stopped going-not that there was ever much to see anyways.
    Mobile phones are a much-abused technology, especially with Koreans.

  3. I hate when people bring little kids to non-kid movies.

  4. Definitely. I remember going to see the 1st Jurassic park and two fucktards had brought their 3-4 year old. The kid was terrified and crying loudly so what did they do? Threw a jacket over the kid. After I finished greasing them out, and the usher joined in, they left. Some people shouldn't have kids.

  5. Even worse is when people take their kids t oan art gallery. What's the kid meant to make of it? You might as well be putting an Eskimo in front of the Mona Lisa. Or taking a large dog out and letting it run around unleashed whilst vaguely thinking you're on a private estate. That's the worst thing about the middle class, the conflation of private fantasy and public space. As for the average mook, anywhere is community care.

  6. That is too true. Too many parents, and I am not just talking about Koreans here, think that way.

    I had a run in with one mook and his brat at the supermarket last year.

    I almost got run into by the brat racing a shopping cart up and down aisles and around corners. Several people almost got run into.

    The brat was about 10-11, old enough to know better without being told. I ended up yelling at him to stop. This brought his father, the mook, out.

    He wanted to know why I yelled at his brat. So, in no uncertain terms, I told him. His response was "Well, I was looking for something. I can't keep an eye on him all the time."

    I ended up greasing him out. You don't let your kid run wild like that.

  7. Had the same supermarket experience today. Yuck. Can't stand that dis-understanding that parents have in public.Ought to be classes for that.
    If Korea, double private/public distinction classes.
    And walking tutorials-fuck English!! heck-make it a subject to replace PE. With snazzy uniforms. We know where is heading....elegance. With a great big sexy shock of hair and good beer. Whoops, guess that must be Japan.

  8. I had students in West London ask if I'd ever had corporal punishment at school. I said sure, but it'd been all at once as something to be endured. I said that, by contrast, private schools might give you one thwack on Monday and keep the other for Friday. I could see their eyes going clockwise. The other farting dicks stick 'em up a chimney.