Monday, November 22, 2010

Who are the ... Craziest Protesters?!?!?

In the red corner we have the Kamikaze Kimchi Kommandoes known around the world for their insanity and vindictiveness.

In the blue corner we have the Taiwan Troublemakers. Brash rookies trying to make their mark in the world of protesting.

Who will get the title of Craziest Protesters?

We have assembled a blue ribbon team of experts to compare and contrast the abilities of these protestors. Arman Flintarian and the Stigmeister use the latest scientific methods and technology to gather data about the two opponents. The data is then entered into a computer program developed by Blathering Batshit Studios to determine just who is ...

... the Craziest Protester.

Thrown Weapons

Koreans: Firebombs, pheasants they bludgeoned to death, and cow shit

Taiwanese: Eggs at an elementary school

Advantage: South Korean Protestors. You just never know what they will throw at you next but the odds are it will have a greater shock value than eggs.

Internet Antics

Koreans: Crashing servers, email campaigns, message board campaigns, blogging, death threats, bomb threats, posting of personal information

Taiwanese: Crashing servers, email campaigns, message board campaigns, blogging

Advantage: South Korean Protesters. While they use the same basic tactics those wacky Koreans are always willing to up the fear and stalking factor.

Flag Desecration

Koreans: Not content to just burn flags Korean protesters have been known to eat full size flags or tear up giant size US flags.

Taiwanese: Burning tiny flags

Advantage: Korean Protesters because size matters as much as what you do to it.

Public Displays of Frustration

Koreans: Vigils, riots, dropping of pants, ripping of piglets, cutting off fingers, shaving heads,
covering themselves in bees, stabbing themselves in the stomach

Taiwanese: Rallys, riots

Advantage: Korean Protesters. It is impossible to compete against animal or self mutilation with simple rallies and riots.


Koreans: Calls for boycotts, No Foreigners Allowed signs, No Americans Allowed signs

Taiwanese: Calls for boycotts, No Koreans allowed signs

Advantage: TIE

Government Intervention

Koreans: Calls for investigations, renegotiations, and batshit crazy statements that deny reality. (1)

Taiwanese: Calls for investigations and then calls for calm.

Advantage: Korean Protestors because sometimes their government is as batshit crazy as they are.


Clearly, the Korean Protesters beat their Taiwanese counterparts hands down. It was no contest. They beat them like a government mule. They stomped a mudhole in them and walked it dry. The Taiwanese didn't even show up for the competition. I am running out of cliches.

It is clear the Taiwanese have much to learn from the Korean Wave of crazy. They may take solace in the fact that while they did over react they have a ways to go to be known as THAT crazy.

Korea YOU have the Craziest Protesters in the world. You may want to dial down their batshit before whining about Taiwanese, or any other, protesters in the future.


1) During the U.S. Beef bullshit the GNP Chairman (GNP was governing party at the time) Kang Jae-sup told the US Ambassador that “in Korea, beef is not simply a product; our people’s unique sentiment, which cannot be explained with science, permeates beef.” basically saying that even though science proves them wrong it doesn't matter.


  1. I lived in Korea and I live in Taiwan and i can tell you it is not even close on the crazy meter. I was in Korea for less than 24 hours before someone did or said something utterly retarded. here it took about 4 months.

  2. I can't think of many places that would hit as high on the crazy meter as quickly as South Korea. Maybe North Korea.

  3. That is fucked up!