Monday, November 1, 2010

Shit Koreans Say.

I am going to steal a couple of ideas and roll them into one. Recently Prestige Korea wrote about Shit My Korean Wife Buys On The Internet. It got me thinking about the TV show 'Shit my Dad Says." Great show. So, I decided to start up "Shit Koreans Say." Feel free to add your own experiences.

To recap one I used on Prestige Korea, a few years ago one of my co-workers asked me if I was still going to the health club (gym). I replied yes. He then said "Then you are looking healthy."

There was a student in my first year in Korea (she was in University) that I used to hang out with a lot. We would meet for coffee, dinner, go on short road trips. Sometimes her brother would come along. After a couple of months she started taking another class and all of a sudden wasn't answering calls or showing up when we had plans. Since she was still in the school I worked I would see her there. I knew her mom was sick and figured that must be why. One day I asked her what was going on. Her reply boggled my mind. "You aren't my teacher anymore so I can't spend time with you. I have to spend it with my new teacher."

Then there was the student-friend of mine. He was a Middle School teacher, later high School, at the time and in his late 40's. He was well traveled too, in fact he went to the Australian Olympics with the coaching/training staff of the South Korean boxing team.

One summer day we were out driving around. While stopped at a light he asked me what the middle finger meant exactly. I told him it usually meant fuck you or fuck off. So ... picture this ... he proceeded to start giving the finger in all directions while shouting "Fuck You" "Fuck You!"

It was summer and his window was open. I wish I had a picture of the cab drivers face beside us. I think he believed the FU's were directed at him. My friend did this until the light changed.

Another time, and not so funny, we were walking down the street when he saw an African-American. He walked right up to the guy, almost nose to nose, and with a grin said "You are black! You are a nigger!"

I told the guy he was insane but I understood if he wanted to kick the shit out of him. He commented on Koreans and left instead.

You just never know what will come out of a Korean's mouth.


  1. Did you see the koreabeat article about the different seasons in Korea? There was a great quote in there about how Koreans have strong internal organs because Korea has four seasons.

    Here are some choice bits:

    "Our country's four seasons develop the particular adaptiveness and toughness of Koreans. This adaptiveness, which allows them to deal with the changes in the external environment, develops naturally as it is imprinted in Korean's DNA."

    I guess if you drop the word DNA, and quote a doctor in an article it must be true.

    "The particular characteristics of a carefree spring, muggy summer, dry fall, and cold winter, which make up the four seasons, develop toughness by developing the healthy internal organs of Koreans and the functions of all organs."

    Drinking soju and smoking cigarettes also preserve the internal organs. For centuries people in our country have used the art of pickling and the drying of meats to make them last longer. That's why Korean esse charred lungs and Jinro fermented livers help to produce a mucus, that when excreted on streets help to beautify our nation.

  2. 3gyupsal

    I now regret skipping over the article. :( Damn that was some god (hilariously stupid) material.

  3. Well, my favourite (read: stupid) sayings usually come from the mouths of whatever hagwon owner is oppressing me at the time. I remember asking one boss for pay receipts, and being told that I couldn't have any because I would lose them.
    What the kimchi?
    It's the kindergartners who do that shit, you moron!

  4. heh ... I remember Mr. Kim at Ivy school telling me that they wouldn't give me a ticket home because I am a bad teacher and bad teachers don't deserve tickets home.